The day that sticks in my memory was when we received our Home Visit for primary school. I sat him down and talked about what was going to happen and how it was very important that he was polite and happy so that the lovely teachers would go back and tell everyone how like his sister he was and how much they were looking forward to him joining their school. He seemed to take it all in but how wrong I was.
My time slot was 10am on Monday and I had mowed the lawns and tidied the house, I had even made cakes (for anyone that knows me, OK OK they were from a packet and I just iced them).
Anyway, I opened the door to see 2 smiley faced teachers standing before me. What happened over the next 20 minutes can only be described as a nightmare to end all nightmares. They came in and I called to The Whirlwind to come down and see our lovely visitors "NO" he replied. I reminded him that there would be no swimming later if he didn't come down "DON'T CARE" he said. The teachers told me it was fine and that in their experience children always came down in the end as curiosity got the better of them. (Oh really,have they met my school hating child).
After what seemed a really long time and much chit chatting I decided to go and retrieve The Whirlwind. As I approached the bottom of the stairs and looked up the sight that met my eyes can only of been described as naked carnage. There he was with not a stitch on sitting with his little shiny bottom hanging over the top step. "What are you doing darling" I said through gritted teeth.
"I make a volcano for the teacher" he replied in his sweet voice.
Before I could get up the stairs the teacher in question came bounding out and was up them like a bat out of hell. I watched on helplessly as he revealed not only his private parts but a volcano made out of CLAY!!! (The clay had come from a set that had been given to him for when he was much much much older.)
The only thing I am grateful for is that they don't do home visits for secondary school, god only knows what little gem he would pull out of the bag for that one !!!