Wednesday, 26 September 2012

De-Stress Dad Time.

I am taking The Husband away this weekend for his birthday. We are not going abroad and neither are we going to a country hotel....I am taking him to a health spa.

The poor man has had a particularly tough year at work and I thought it would be nice to get him pampered and spoilt for a change. Being a stay at home mum It has been tough saving up the money to take him but I have done it.

It will be quite strange as normally myself The Northern Mother and a group of friends go each year. So going with my Hubby is quite a novelty. I have pre-booked the biggest bath robe known to man for him and arranged some surprises for him too (will tell you all when we get back..Sshhhhhh!!).

He has no idea that everyone wanders round like a scene from One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest in their robes and special slippers. He is oblivious that you produce enough wind to power a nuclear power station and I haven't even mentioned the fact that we will have to smuggle alcohol in (just a couple of bottles of wine of course) as it is very much frowned upon.

When I have been before The Northern Mother managed to stash Gin & Tonics into every crevice of her suitcase as well as many crisps,nuts and chocolate. At 6.30 each evening we would all gather and have a little pre-dinner drink along with various nibbles. So this time it is up to me to provide the refreshments, I figured if I get busted I will just blame The Husband as "Its his first time here, and he didn't really know".

So there we go. We are off on another adventure and as the last holiday diary blog went down so well I thought I would do it again.

I will keep notes of each day as I am 100% sure something funny will happen. I may even be able to sneak a few photos onto my phone......Just for research you understand!!!

Blog You All Soon

Lots Of Love
Me xxxx

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

Wobble Wednesday

Today's schedule was quite simple.....Go to gym...Wobble...Sweat...Wobble.......Meet The Northern Mother.....Eat Lunch....Shop...Go Home.

Whenever I think its just going to be a normal day it usually turns out to be anything but normal. Today was no exception either.

Went to the torture palace gym and did as planned...Wobbled like a jelly on the running machine,  sweated like a piglet on the static bike (pointless piece of machinery) and then got my shoe lace trapped in the rowing machine and had to be rescued by a lady who then somehow managed to bore me senseless with her complete life story including how many times a year she gets urinary tract infections.......Arghhhhhhh !!!!! Like I want to know that, I tried to look interested and sympathetic but am slightly worried I looked more like I was listening to a rendition of The Complete Encyclopedia Britannica A-D. I have no idea how we got from a trapped shoe lace to Cystitis but we did.

Next on the agenda was to meet The Northern Mother. Got in the car and decided to be a bit Billy Big Potatoes and go past the workmen at the end of my road with my windows down. With my hair blowing in the breeze and Lady Gaga blasting out of my stereo I was then laughed at as they pointed out that I had left my handbag on the roof. Had to pull over and retrieve the bag and was then informed that "had I not had my music so loud I might of heard them yelling earlier".......CRINGE!!!!!

Met the Norther Mother and went to get as many locker keys as legally allowed due to the fact that The Whirlwind has lost his keys and has to replace the school spare one and still have one for himself. Nice bloke in the locksmiths took pity on me and gave me a free one on top of the 5 I had paid for. Northern Mother said he fancied me and was probably after something else.....Oh My God......This guy/boy was young enough to be my own son so I doubt very much that was on his mind......COUGAR MUMMY.

Took The Northern mother for a coffee and a cake. She ordered a fruit scone and exclaimed she hadn't eaten for 7 minutes and was about to faint if she didn't get some food inside of her immediately. On arrival of the warm fruit scone she took a huge bit and before I could say "Hang on they are always really hot" she promptly burnt her mouth thus yelling "BUGGER THAT'S HOT". She then spent the remaining time sipping her coffee and wincing in pain.

After dropping Mother back home, I decided to take the long route home and smiled as I relived the day in my head. I saw in the distance a stall on the side of the road selling cherries and suddenly had to have some. I pulled into the lay by and purchased a punnet feeling quite pleased with myself at this sudden spontaneity.
Waving goodbye to the smiling lady as I drove off I was struck by how happy she was and what a hard job it must be just sitting there all day. The Cherries were sitting on the seat next to me and rather than wait to wash them like I have been taught I picked one up to eat. I was just about to put it to my lips when I noticed something moving out of the corner of my eye..................A bloody maggot was wiggling out of the top as if to say "Yooo Hooooo....Do You Mind, This Is my Home".........ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!

How I didn't crash the car is pure luck and I quickly spat the cherry out of the window, on closer inspection I realised that most of the Cherries looked half eaten by a population of crawly things. No wonder she was so bloody happy, I bet she saw me coming and thought "look at her all smiley and fresh from lunch, lets give her this punnet".

If I hadn't been almost home I might of gone back and demanded a refund but I really couldn't be bothered.......The thought did cross my mind to drive back past and launch them at her from my fast moving car but after the day I have had I would of probably missed her and hit the traffic police car that is always parked there.

Once at home I settled down with a nice glass of mouthwash lemonade and attempted to finish the book off that The Northern Mother had got me from a charity shop because "They are so cheap in there". She probably buys about 20 books a week from there and somehow manages to read them all. I on the other hand take about a month to read a book so you can imagine my excitement when I realised that I had almost finished this one.....This excitement was short lived as I turned over the last page to reveal.....Nothing.....Nothing at all....Because.....It wasn't there. Some nice person had given a book in with the last page missing.

Have decided to go to bed early tonight to avoid anything else happening. Never mind, tomorrow is a new day and one things for sure......Nobody can ever say my life is boring.

Thanks for Reading
Lots of Love
Me xxxx

Saturday, 15 September 2012

Lashes In A Bottle (A Product Review)

Week 1

On Thursday I went to one of my favourite places in the whole wide world.......A place where I can relax with a cuppa whilst having a chat and a laugh with a brilliant bunch of girls......The Academy Of Hair in East Sussex. I have been a regular client at this hairdressers since 2001 and even after all these years it always manages to make me feel like a million dollars by the time I leave.

Sometimes I go in and just say "HELP" and somehow my gorgeous hairdresser Kelly knows exactly what I need. The owner Jo (the most glamorous business women I know) is always getting in the latest products and potions for us to try. This time it was something that I have needed for ages.

Over the past few months I have noticed that each night as I take my makeup off my eyelashes are just not as long or full as they used to be. Even with the dollop of Vaseline I put on every night they have just lost they Va Va Voom. With this in my mind as if by magic Jo and Kelly introduced me to a little miracle in a bottle..........................REVITA.EPS.This promises a 100% improvement in your lashes in just 6 weeks.

I don't normally do product reviews on my blog but have decided that if this little miracle oil helps us ladies look even more gorgeous then it cannot be a bad thing.

So here we go.......Here is a picture of my eyelashes (minus the mascara, you are very privileged as nobody hardly ever sees me without mascara) at the beginning of the 6 weeks and I will do another one at the end.


Fingers crossed it will make me look like Daisy The Cow by the end of it.

Lots of love

Thursday, 13 September 2012

First Week Over..Phew!

The Whirlwinds first week at Secondary school has gone by like a flash. He has completed 49 lessons, 7 Lunchtimes, 4 games of Football, 7 assemblies and 2 after school clubs...Phew!!!

Here is a run down of his first week...

He wakes each morning with the usual "I don't wanna go to school " routine but once up he gets himself ready and seems quite happy to go off with his mates.

He has got lost 3 times and ended up at the front office looking for help (which I am glad to say has been given to him). The first time he got lost he thought he had French and wandered into a class of 6th formers who all laughed, they were then in turn told off for laughing as the teacher reminded them that they had all been there once. He then made one of the boys show The Whirlwind to the right classroom. This in turn has proved to be quite helpful as in true Whirlwind fashion he told a few of his jokes on the way and now has his own posse of 6th formers who all think he is hysterical.

He has managed to sweet talk the Geography teacher by designing his exercise book with a "I LOVE GEOGRAPHY" logo which in turn made her say that he was now one of her favourites.

He managed to get 15/15 on a science test which was then rewarded with a sticker in his diary. Not just any sticker but a white one (which is good apparently). This made him very happy as Science is his favourite subject. The classroom is not in the main school building and is in fact in the Eco gardens which he found amazing. He likened it to Hogwarts and Professor Sprouts classroom.

He has got somewhat confused with the whole lunch thing and has managed to spend all of his allowance in 3 days. At his school they use a fingerprint scanning system so that no money is bought onto the premises, I top up his account each week on line and he is then in charge of keeping an eye on the balance. This obviously got lost on him as he happily scanned his finger at every opportunity and ate his entire body weight in Paninis. I know this as you can log on and see what your child has eaten that day. He doesn't know this YET!!!

He has lost his watch, drinks bottle and locker key in the first week and has luckily found them all again. I have purchased him a sort of key thingy that looks like a long spring.  After attaching it to his blazer inside pocket I put his key on. His response....."I am not having that in there, I look like a right geek". A compromise was met by having it tucked into the pocket so it wasn't on show.

He has made a total of his words "12 new friends that are boys" and "7 that are girls", his mobile phone is now pinging away with requests of meeting up on XBox Live every couple of minutes. Our house sounds like a nightclub with 4 different mobiles going off all the time. I have suggested that we all have the same on as me ....Beyonce..Single Ladies........I wont repeat what the response was to that from all of them.

So there we go, all in all a good week has been had. To say I am relieved is a bit of an understatement and I am now willing the first term to go as quickly. It is lovely watching The Teenager take him under her wing at school and she makes sure he is OK whenever she sees him. I love watching the pair of them walk off together and have even had a little cry as the reality of having 2 kids in Secondary school hits home.

It is definitely easier with the second child, I guess I know whats happening and who's who but I will never get used to the fact that they have suddenly gone from being with little ones to being surrounded by big kids again.
Part of me is so relieved that I will never have to encounter the playground mafia squad again and part of me will miss chatting to those lovely mums who all huddled with me under the same tree each day.

I wish I had started this blog when mine were little and starting Primary school...Good God I would have some tales to tell you..............Maybe One Day I Will........

Thanks for reading
Lots of love xx

Thursday, 6 September 2012

My Little Secret

Would you like to know a secret........Its not a big secret but all the same its a secret. Not even my husband knows about my little daytime rendezvous with a certain bunch of people. They are not normal people they are the most glamorous, fabulously rich people ever.........OK, now I bet you are wondering what the heck I am talking about.................

Let me introduce you............

Ahhhhhhh...There they are. I am of course talking about Dallas. Ever since I was a child I was fascinated by this programme, I think it stems from not being aloud to watch it as it was deemed as "too racy". I was desperate to creep downstairs and watch it but Mum was adamant that it wasn't suitable. I can remember all the hype when JR was shot and wanting to be involved in the super sleuthing that everyone else was doing.
In 2009 a very good friend of mine gave me a very special birthday present. You see, she knew about my secret and wanted to help out. So she gave me a DVD of the first ever series and after packing the kids off to school I sat down to watch it. I sat mesmerised at it and within an hour was completely hooked. It became a bit of an addiction and every time I had a spare hour I would sit down pop the DVD in and watch another episode.
By 2011 I had watched every episode and loved every minute of it too. Sometimes I laughed out loud at the cheesy script and laughed even more at Sue Ellen's ever moving lip glossed lips. I loved the way JR would say in almost every episode "Sue Ellen you are a drunk and a tramp" , and how Miss Ellie (why did they not just call her Ellie) would shout "That's enough Jock". I was staggered how someone who looked like JR could pull so many women and almost fell in love with Bobby as he wandered out of the sea in little shorts (well, he was the Man From Atlantas).
Pammy's shoulder pads got bigger and bigger and Lucy seemed to get shorter and shorter. I never understood how Theresa the maid put up with the rudeness of them all and waited for her to shout "No, get it yourselves" one day.

I got completely sucked in then cruelly spat out when it was revealed that the whole of series 7 was a blooming dream. It then took me a while to unpick what was and wasn't real. As I finished watching all the shows I actually felt quite pleased with myself that finally I was grown up enough to watch this "Racy" programme. At the same time a wave of sadness crept over me that it was over.
Or was it......As I sat last night eating my supper that familiar tune boomed out of the TV.......YES YES YES.....It was back and not only was it back it was back with more glitz, glamour and lip gloss. Ugly baby Christopher has turned out quite frankly a bit PHWOORRRRR !! Jon Ross is a total carbon copy of his father. Sue Ellen's lips are still moving around like they have a mind of their own, Bobby looks the same just greyer and as for JR, well he is badder than ever with  the morals of an ally cat (and the eyebrows). The shocker of the night was Lucy and Ray Krebbs looking somewhat older and obviously a huge fan of Dr Dallas Plastic Surgeon Extraordinaire. I watched without speaking as the plot unfolded before me. When South Fork Ranch appeared I did a little scream and then laughed that it was still as windy there.
My first reaction was WOW!  I watched on like I was meeting people I hadn't seen for years, they all looked the same just...well.....older. Its definitely more racier and the plot lines look very juicy, I am waiting for some more of the old cast to appear and am wondering who will shoot JR (again). If I was one of the writers I would of had Pammy appearing at the wedding as a surprise and Sue Ellen and Bobby admitting that they had been having a torrid affair for the past 30 years. And then just as they are all at each others throats screaming and shouting a puff of smoke would appear on the terrace of South Fork......And there stands Miss Ellie in her smock dress and shouts"THAT'S ENOUGH JR" .
Ahhhh well, a girl can dream.
Lots of Love

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

I'll be Waiting.

Well that's it then.....The Summer Holidays are officially over...BOOOOOOO! HISSSSS! I have loved not getting up until 9am and letting the kids sleep in, I have loved having no uniform to think about and best of all no clock watching all day waiting for 3.30 to come around again.

The Teenager will be going into Year 11 which will undoubtedly be quite a stressful year for her with GCSE's and coursework. The Whirlwind on the other hand will be starting in Year 7 at secondary school (God it still makes my tummy go funny), I cannot believe its finally here. After getting him through that swear word SATS and the school production (which he hated, but did very well on lighting), he is now having to brace himself for a whole other set of challenges.

He has gone from wearing lovely cool polo shirts and shorts to having to wear long trousers, shirt, tie, jumper and a blazer. He will look like a trussed up chicken and I am sure that after a couple of days he will be coming home with his shirt collar undone and his tie wrapped around his head. When asked where his jumper and blazer are he will shrug and say "Dunno".

I am emotionally much better than I thought I would be (see blog called Tick Tock.) and was dreading him starting up at "big school". But I have to say, he is more than ready for it, there has been a complete transformation this summer and he has grown up mentally and physically so much. He has been to the shops on his own loads of times and even popped up to the mini supermarket for milk (although he did come back with the smallest pint of milk I had ever seen and spent the change on sweets), he has helped me around the house without any moaning and has actually chatted to The Teenager without having humongous arguments with her.

I am quite sure I haven't seen the last of the sulks, tantrums and arguments but I am certainly enjoying the lack of them at the moment.

I know that I am entering that dangerous area called PUBERTY and am quite ready for it (I think). I know that he will come home some days and want to kill his sister and she in turn will happily wind him up to fever pitch.

There will be days when they will come home from school with homework, friendship issues and general being "that age" problems that I will have to go to the fridge and hold my bottle of Gin and maybe even kiss it then wait for 7pm (don't ask why its 7pm, it just is).  There may be times that I feel like I am doing a pants job of being a mum and question my whole raising teenagers ethics. And even with all this I will try and stay calm and help them through what ever the day has thrown at them and together we will deal with it.

By the time The Husband gets home I will be either too exhausted or (depending if hes home late) too pissed relaxed to go through it all again. The kids by this point will be feeling much happier that Mum has dealt with it and unbeknown to them is now carrying it around on her shoulders so that its not on theirs. And I will smile a little smile as I go to sleep safe in the knowledge that tomorrow is a new day and everything will be fine again.

Is life going to be a bed of roses with 1 Teenager Daughter and 1 almost Teen Son.....No...Of course its not. Is life going to run smoothly each day......No......Of course it isn't. I am under no illusion that its going to be easy and I am sure that each day will bring something new to the table.

The 1 thing I am certain of is that they will always have me and their Dad to turn too and that they will always feel loved and supported at home.

To all you lovely mums and dads out there, just remember this:
Close your eyes: See the teenager you once were (BE HONEST). Now look over at the teenager you have. Now go and call your mum to apologise for all that acting up..............

And here's a little message for all you Teenagers out there:
TEENAGERS! Tired of your parents telling you what to do and always spoiling your fun ? Get a job, move out - Quickly- while you still know everything!!!!!!

Good luck Out There

Lots of Love
Me xxxx

Sunday, 2 September 2012