I spent a few days last week on my back.....Get your minds out of the gutter you lot.......My recurring back problems sometimes force me to stop and rest and then I am fine again. During this time I watched rather a lot of TV, not only did I watch a lot of programmes it struck me that there are also a ton of adverts. Not just one or two but hundreds of them, just as you get into a good programme.....BAM!....Adverts, adverts and more adverts. I will admit that there are some great ones that make me smile and even some that make me want to cry but along with those there are some truly terrible, cringeworthy and plain stupid ones that don't even remotely make me want to buy the product. With that in mind I have listed my top 5 most stupid adverts...I will try not to embarrass the companies by naming their products....
1. Picture the scene...An attractive woman gets out of a lift with a rather sexy looking male. As she leaves the lift he drops a load of papers (convenient...I thought). As she waits paintently for him to pick up before mentioned papers (most of us would of walked off or at the very least offered to help him) she gets her very, flimsy, purple split up to the waist dress caught in the lift door and......up it goes revealing....matching purple knickers (no M&S big jobs here). As she struggles to get her dress from the lift door he looks down at her bag and smiles as he spy's her incontinence light pads....AS IF........No man with any sense would grin at that sight.....They would instead be running for the hills. As someone who is at that stage where these little beauties may be necessary soon I for one will not be putting them at the top of my bag for all to see and I definately will not be wearing a dress near a lift door again.
2. Would you buy windows from a man dressed as......Well....I don't really know what shouting "I SAY, YOU BUY ONE YOU GET ONE FREE"...Well, would you....NO is the answer you are looking for. Why on earth would that make you want to pick up the phone and ask them to come and fit some windows. What if he is the window fitter....What if he spends the whole day shouting......."I SAY, A CUPPA WOULD'NT GO A MISS AND WHILE YOUR THERE KNOCK US UP A BACON BUTTIE".
3. The hair colour commercials where they only use gorgeous celebrities with beautiful hair to sell their products. I have tried those colour in a box things and trust me I did not look anything like Cheryl Cole. The thing that makes me laugh the most is that written in very tiny writing at the bottom are the words.....Some natural hair extensions have been used in this commercial. Lets face it ladies, if we had her money and time we would all bloody look like that wouldn't we.
4. Popular supermarket advert where a women slaps her own bum because she has saved 10p on her weekly shopping, never mind the fact it has cost her a tenner in petrol to get there and had a fight with another trolley as well as arguing with a shop assistant when they telepathically seemed to know that they didnt have any more jars of Marshmallow Fluff out the back. I hate the way all the supermarkets try to out do each other by having little digs at the other ones on adverts. Grow up the lot of you.....We will go to our favourite one what ever you all say. (I must just say that this particular supermarket did have the best Christmas advert.)
5. Finally, my last stupid advert begins with this line...."Muuuuummmm I want to do a poo", "come on then" replies the mummy......"I want to do a poo in Paul's bathroom" says the whiny annoying child...."Don't be silly" says mum....."I'M GOING TO DO A POO AT PAUL'S" he replies...It is at this stage he begins to walk out of the door with his little ruck sack firmly strapped on his back. This little public display of arrogance is all because Paul's bathroom smells better than the annoying child's bathroom. Who is Paul and where does he live.....Is he a child or a 42 year old man ???? The first thing that struck me was that no boy from the age of 7-18 would give a monkeys bottom if the loo smelt and would of probably of made it smell like that in the first place. This conversation should of gone something like this....
"Muuuuuuummm I want to do a poo"
"Go on then, I'm not stopping you"
"I'm going to do a poo at Paul's"
"Fine...Thank his mum for letting you stink out her bathroom wont you, I'll get the car going". End of conversation.
So there we go, my 5 top annoying adverts.I could go on and on (a bit like some of the ads) but I wont. Let me know your most favourite advert you love to hate.
Lots of Love
Wednesday, 20 February 2013
Tuesday, 12 February 2013
I just don't seem to have the time to sit down at the moment and write a good quality funny piece. I know the reason for this ................Its the gym......I have, you see decided to put my heart and soul into loosing a bit of weight and toning up.
I am going 4 mornings a week and I have to say its bloody exhausting. After waving the kids off to school I grab my trendy sports bag and head off, to me that's the worst bit..... Getting out of the door, into the car and driving all of 9 minutes to reach my destination. Once I am there I cant say I love it because that would be an out and out lie, I tolerate it as a means to and end. The end being my fat hopefully, I puff and pant my way through a gruelling 60 minutes of pain then collapse in the cool down section (not that I ever cool down) before heading off to the showers. Once back in the car I do have a moment where I smile to myself and give myself a pat on the back before
The problem is that because I am at the gym the whole time I am not coming across any funny events (aside from myself on the running machine). Its been ages since I found myself at the centre of a funny situation, and I don't like it at all. What is happening?.......Where has all the funny in the world gone?.....Is it me?.....Is it the time of year or is it just that I am not in the right place at the right time?.......With these thoughts fresh in my mind I have decided that although the gym is doing me good I really need to get back out in the real world and find some funny aswell.
I don't usually go looking for it but feel on this occasion I may have to. Its like that film Sliding Doors it all depends whether you turn left or right out of your street or which shop you go into first. Its all about destiny and opportunities and seeking out the best possible course.
So, I am off out into the big wide world and I will endeavour to locate and capture funny. Its all about the way you look at things I guess, I've lost count of the times I have heard a comedian tell a funny story and The Husband looks at me and says "You said that last week", these guys get paid a fortune for just watching and finding the funny side of everyday situations. Not a bad job if you can get it.
Wish me luck
Lots of Love
Thursday, 7 February 2013
A Cheats Guide To Making Cake Pops.
The Northern Mother knowing this fact decided to buy me for Xmas a little gadget which she hoped would make me feel less of a failure when my kids remind me of how wonderful it would be to have cakes made for them when they get in from school.
I have never made Cake Pops and my kids are always going on and on about them so with that in mind I thought I would seize the day and have a bash. Now as I explained before I am a rubbish chef and will cut corners to save time anywhere I can.....Keep this in mind and don't judge me as I walk you through my first ever batch of Cake Pops.
3. Made the batter in record time (No mess or weighing involved). Spoon into little holes being careful not to overfill.
4. Shut lid down and wait 4-5 minutes.
5. TA-DAHHHHHH!!! Perfect little round cake balls of yumminess.
10. While they are cooling melt the rest of your chocolate and let it slightly cool down, I think this makes it less drippy when dipping the cake into.
13. Lift the ball out and hold upside down for a minute to let any drips run off, tap any excess off gently.
14. Hold the freshly dipped ball over the plate of sprinkles and spoon them all over.
16. Once you have done them all put the whole lot back into the fridge/cold room for about an hour.
17. Only one thing left to do now........EAT ONE BEFORE KIDS GET HOME TO QUALITY TEST THEM.
So there we go, quite straightforward.....Even for me. I think as I get better I will get braver and start to do different combinations. I have already had a go at spinning the chocolate over once they have dried and the kids thought they were amazing. There are many machines out there as well as Cake Pop pans I think its just personal choice.
Hope you enjoyed my cookery lesson.
Lots of Love
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