Thursday, 29 March 2012

To Wax Or Not To Wax

After my last blog about wearing a bikini, I touched on the subject of waxing. Well due to unforeseen circumstances I have now been forced to address the subject a whole lot earlier than expected due to the fact that The Husband has arranged a nice weekend away.
Lucky Girl I hear you all say.....well yes I do feel lucky, however this hotel has the one thing I am not equipped for ......a swimming pool!!! And a swimming pool can mean only one thing ..... A Swimsuit which in turn needs a hair free zone.
I was hoping to have at least a few more months before having to tackle the Lady Garden but no, I have 2 days to get it tamed and looking nice.
My routine this evening will begin with the exfoliation process (not that it helps, but that's what it says on the packet to do).
My Kids will then be banished downstairs to avoid any lasting damage to their pure young minds. Once alone the waxing kit will be placed out on the bed like you see those doctors do on Casualty  with all their equipment.
I will then strategically place the mirror at the end of the bed and the scene is set.
The main problem I now have is in 4 parts:-
1. I now have to move my stomach out of the way with one hand to see the above mentioned area.
2. Do I actually have the courage to lay the wax strip on in the first place.
3. Do I actually have the nerve to now pull the strip off.
4. The dog wont leave the room and is now watching with head tilted to one side looking at me very strangely.

Right I'm going to do it....I am going to do it now....ready......steady........1....2.....3.......
It is at this point the dog begins to howl in anticipation at something amazing happening, does he think I am going to throw a ball or does he actually understand whats about to happen.

Here we go..... and rip...."OOOOOOUUUCCCCHHHHHH bleep bleep bleep !!

This is pretty much how the whole experience goes, I count 1.2.3 the dog howls, I rip then scream obscenities. Now you can see why I send the kids downstairs.

On completion of the extermination of the Hairy Growler I will resemble a plucked chicken for several hours and may look slightly red. However it will all be worthwhile in the long run once I am on poolside in my one piece looking hairless.

Lets hope after all that the pools not shut !!!!

This blog has been written because of an hysterical conversation this morning on Twitter with 4 gorgeous Twitterettes, we covered waxing and tanning and then tanning and waxing. And not a mention of the petrol crisis in sight.

Thank you to them for being my inspiration today.
@apartyofseven   @cityGatheart  @citygirlnomore @lottie_lockwood


  1. Ha Ha. I live in Singapore. My legs are always on show because I always wear dresses and am always in the water. I wax my legs and don't mind it at all but find it hard to find time. They are in dire need at the moment, in fact I am so embarrassed but haven't been able to get them done and haven't got around to going to be wax strips myself!

  2. OMG nearly choked on my sandwich at the bit about moving your stomach out of the way...tooooo funny!

  3. Can't believe I missed all that this morning. I would never wax in front of the dogs, nosey boys! :D
    My best advice : get someone else to do it for you, and DON'T LOOK!

  4. Brilliant! So glad our inane twittering this morning inspired this about going off on tangents! :-)

  5. Brilliant morning, kept chuckling to myself all say. Xxxx

  6. So i thought we were talking 'legs' *arf arf* MUCH respect for you attempting the lady garden. One of my favourite twitter conversations so far :) xx

  7. Ha ha ha hil-hairy-ous! Fantastic I laughed very hard! When you said hairy growler I wasn't sure if you were talking about the dog ha ha ha so funny! Nice one! :-) Jess

  8. I would not be able to go the above mentioned garden with wax, I am sure I would be heard screaming for many city blocks. Great post.

  9. LOL hilarious! Brought back some very (not so) fond memories of my own experience here....I've moved on to cream instead of waxing! Thanks for linking up to #oldiesbutgoodies

  10. hehe very funny. Thank goodness for maxi skirts I say!

  11. Ouch! You are a brave woman. Never tackled that particular 'area' myself. A home leg wax was bad enough and now leave it to the professionals ie a woman who will not stop talking and drives me a bit bonkers!

  12. Oh this is so funny! I don't really have a problem doing my own bikini line nowadays, having done it myself for ages now, but I can't do my own underarm - big ouch!

    Popping over from OldiesButGoodies
    White Feathers & So Much More

  13. Oh, the dilemma of summer months and the old lady garden! Very brave to do it yourself ;) Made me giggle, great post :) x

  14. lol lol i am so so sorry for laughing however i was nodding behind my screen agreeing with it all and i even crossed my legs!

  15. Were you actually blogging the wax-job real time?? I'm very impressed with your bravery, I have never waxed any part of me in my life and don't think I ever will!

  16. I'm back again, just as funny second time round ;) Thanks for linking up x


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