The Lesser Spotted Teenager.

I'm not going to lie to you all but last week was a bit emotional for me as a mum. I was struggling with something that I had no power over, something so natural yet so frightening....I am talking about .........Time.......And in particular time slipping away to fast for me to catch up with it.........My kids are no longer babies, toddlers, pre-school age, primary school age and one of them is now no longer Secondary school age.....

It all began on Wednesday morning when The Whirlwind burst into our bedroom to announce in a rather loud voice that he had "A" hair under his armpit....Just the one, but it was definitely there for all to see. He towel dried himself very carefully in fear of it falling out and then used "Dads" stronger deodorant just encase. Then he noticed more hair on his legs....Well, that was it..."Yippee" he yelled "I'm a man"............................Everyone else found it thoroughly amusing.........................But I did not....................For me this was the beginning of the end of childhood and the end of reason, humour and cuddles for Mummy. I've seen all the programmes, read all the books and dreaded this moment for months.I've even had to do a quick course in a new language called "Grunting"......................This language resembles a Chewbacca (hairy thing from star wars) noise when asked to do anything remotely concerning leaving the vicinity of the Xbox, it then gets louder the more they protest and results in the very impressive "Door Slam" manoeuvre.

I have also noticed since the arrival of "The Lone Hair" a change in the smell of his room.........................A bit like a cross between a football changing room (after the match) and ......................Well....................How can I put this politely.................................A public lavatory. I have started waiting until he is up and downstairs before flinging the window open to relive the air pressure and then spraying 4 gallons of air freshener until I choke or suffer an asthma attack. The strange thing is that he doesn't even seem to notice the pungent smell and carries on regardless of the Febrezey type fog all around him.

The hair style is another story and now resembles that age old fashionable hair cut know only to Teenagers as "The Bieber".................................He kind of dips his head then flicks it all sideways looking like he has a nervous twitch ever 2 seconds. And if you touch it......Well.....Light The Touch paper and stand back..."MUUUMMMMMMM DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR....IVE JUST GOT IT RIGHT" the strange flicky, Bieber like creature yells at me.

Where has my little boy gone?...What have you done with him Mother Nature and when will I get him back please?....The answer to this unfortunately is ................................"Not for a long time Dear girl"............................................I have come to the conclusion that "If your child smells, grunts, shouts, is prone to mood swings and generally has become unrecognisable then you have a perfectly normal Teenager. Do not fear this and embrace it as the next chapter". I have printed this statement off and am regularly reading it each time I forget that its normal to have this new species living with us.

Its the following Tuesday now and I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that my little compliable, easily bribed children are now that rare breed of human known as.........The Lesser Spotted Teenager. Up until 2 hours ago I had accepted this and felt strong enough to cope with anything The Teenagers may throw at me (not literally of course) and was feeling quite positive about the challenges ahead...That was until the letter box clanged and a "Plop" was heard followed by a squeal of delight from The Female Teenager..........................."OMG..OMG..............IVE ONLY GOT MY NATIONAL INSURANCE NUMBER MUM" she screamed............................"ITS MY NATIONAL INSURANCE NUMBER MUM, CAN I DRIVE NOW?" she continued as I held the piece of paper in my hand "WHAT DOES IT MEAN?" she asked.........................."It means, you have to pay some of your wages to the Government now when you have a job and start earning money" I replied...............................With that she burst into fits of laughter "Yeahhhh, right...What's it really for?" she asked..........................................Bless her...............She actually thinks I'm joking.....Once I had explained it all to her she stared at me with horror and confusion. "God..........I wish I was little again" was the reply as she swept out of the room in disgust...You and me both sweetheart...You and me both.

Lots of Love
Me
xxxx

This post has been linked up with the lovely Jaime over on Magic Moments

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