Wednesday, 28 November 2012

The Grinch Is Alive And Well.

As many of you will already know myself and a friend went into business a couple of years ago and decided that rather than making Xmas crafts for friends and family we would try to sell our stuff at a few craft fairs. After 2 years of slogging away with much glue and glitter we are finally seeing some profits.

This year we have 4 fairs and have just done our first one. We try to keep everything below the £10 mark so that everyone can afford it and kids can buy gifts for parents/grandparents.

As we arrived at 9.30 to set up the heavens opened and it turned into a mad dash to get everything inside before we had a lot of soggy merchandise. Once we had set up and titivated everything within an inch of its glittery life we waited for the crowds to arrive. And arrive they did.....In droves and in swarms. We rushed around wrapping slices of soap and putting them in bags whilst smiling and chatting to all of our lovely customers.

As the day progressed and we flagged we sat down for a quick bite to eat and a cuppa. This is when the worlds most miserable man appeared with his adorable daughter. The little girl looked at everything with magic in her eyes and gasped at all the pretty things. As she picked up a little 50p bag of Elf Pillows (mini marshmallows) she squealed at the cuteness of tiny pillows of loveliness. "Oooooooooh, look Daddy, little pillows for Elves........Can I have some pleaaaaasssssseeeeeeeee"she cried. He in return gave her the following speech....."Don't be silly Molly, you don't want those. For one thing elves heads are too big for those pillows and secondly they are 50p a bag and you only get 30 of them". I stood with my mouth wide open and had a sudden urge to yell "Oh sorry Mr time I will methodically measure an elf's head and supply a pillow accordingly....Maybe a couple of Silent Nights would do the job".
Can you believe it, honestly what the hell is wrong with people. As if that wasn't bad enough he then proceeded to tell her whilst picking up a packet of Reindeer Noses that there was no Rudolph and that Santa probably didn't even use reindeer to pull his sleigh..........For the love of God why not go the whole hog and tell her that everything magical she has ever been told is a load of tosh too.

As he walked away from our stall it was all I could do not to run after him and shove a marshmallow Elf pillow up his bottom. My friend who is much more reserved than me managed to calm me down by telling me that he will only be getting a lump of coal and a satsuma in his stocking this year.

The man in question came back several times and asked how much various things were, I held my tongue for as long as I could then asked him a simple question.....had he ever seen an Elf.....He looked at me as if I had gone stark raving mad and replied "Errrrr, No, Obviously" I couldn't help myself and replied "well, I have and let me tell you something...Like women, they come in all shapes and sizes and trust me.....Their little heads DO fit on those pillows". He stood wide eyed and opened mouthed and gulped like a big fish...."OK" was the only answer he could muster.

1-0 to the Elves and 1-0 for Women...

I have to say that he did buy a little packet of pillows and looked very sheepish for the remainder of the day...................The moral of this story is......Never confront a women who has PMT and has spent the last 4 months stuck to a glue gun whilst covered in glitter.

Lots of Love


  1. Hahahaha that's one of the best things I've heard... so glad you pulled him up on ever seeing an Elf, that's such a hilariously ridiculous comment to say seriously! xx

  2. Some people are such grumpy old miseries! Good for you! x

  3. wow really what a grinch and good for you xx

  4. Oh dear, always someone wanting to spoil the fun. Just not necessary at this time of year. Hope you had a successful time x.


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