Please Smile !!!

  

I’m sharing this post as part of the new What’s the Story? linky over at PODCastDove. I found this photo whilst looking through some old ones yesterday. The moment I saw it I got all emotional, this was taken about 6 years ago at Primary School. Why is it that a photo can evoke such a reaction and cause tears to fall ? I think in my case it is a reminder of how quickly time is whizzing past me, when we first saw this picture we laughed at how The Whirlwind looked like Les Dawson and how cross The Teenager was at having to have it taken more than once as he wouldn't smile properly. We actually got this one free (I think they felt sorry for us). These days he has a beautiful full head of hair and she is 6ft tall with no plaits in sight.

 

My tips to all of you who have little ones is to make the most of those precious days and take as many photos as they will allow. Before you know it they are 12 and 16 years old and not so keen to have their picture taken together............I must say though.................He has learnt to smile these days.

 

 



Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday 21/7/13

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday Is Caption Day.

I have never joined in with the 'Saturday is Caption Day' link before but after seeing some others I just had to have a go.

I have a terrible hobby (I'm not even sure its legal) I do love to take the occasional picture of my dog in various disguises.....I know, I know....Too much time on my hands and all that, but never the less it is something I do and to be honest he loves it as he gets a treat afterwards, he even has his own fan base on Facebook. I have often wondered what he would say if he could talk so this is your chance to put words into his mouth (clean ones please).

Please make my day (and his) and put your captions below..........
(no animals have been hurt during this process, quite the opposite actually)

 

 

I'm Linking This With The Lovely Mammasaurus.

 

My Summer Bucket List.

Summer holidays are almost here (even though The Female Teen finished 5 weeks ago) and I have decided to do a summer bucket list. Obviously those that know me will know that my kids are older so I'm not entirely sure I will see an awful lot of them but I am hopeful that they might want to do some of the list with me. I have never done one of these but I am seeing it as a challenge and intend to try and complete every item on it and blog along the way with my progress. So without further ado, here we go....................................................................

1. Try at least a spoonful of all 13 flavours of Ben & Jerry's ice cream (by a spoonful I obviously mean a large spoonful).
2. Make a cake/fairy cakes and decorate it/them once a week (photos to follow).
3. Eat breakfast outside as many times as we can (obviously this will only apply when its hot).
4. Take the kids to play crazy golf.
5. Go out for lunch with kids at least once a week (that's if I can pin them down).
6. Finally buy a sewing machine and make cushion covers (I am not hopeful this will actually happen).
7. Take loads of photos of my kids (time is going so fast, I need to do this).
8. Go up to London and see a West End show.
9. Buy something from a charity shop and restore/customise it.
10. Say "Yes" to everything for a whole day (I'm not telling Mr DG this for obvious reasons).
11. Read and finish 10 books (I have already started this).
12. Decorate The Female Teens bedroom (with her help).
13. Plant something edible ( I don't mean a cake ).
14. Ride bikes through the woods. (hoping Centre Parcs will take care of this one).
15. Go barefoot for a whole day.
16. Make sure I continue Date Night with Mr DG.
17. Take 12 year old Tween to see a film of his choice (even if it involves robots or aliens).
18. Movie night with whole family once a week.
19. Play board games in the garden after dinner with bowls of sweets and snacks (this keeps the kids at the table).
20. Try and make a difference to someone's day even if its just to make them smile.

So there we go, quite a lot to be going on with isn't there. I will surprise myself if I can do all that lot but I'm going to give it a bloody good go.

Hope you all have a brilliant summer
Lots of Love
Me
xxxxxx







I'm linking up with the lovely Emma who has created a Link called Summer Dreams, just click on the picture and it will take you right there.

First Year Over.....

As I watched The Whirlwind saunter off to school this morning it struck me that he has done a whole year in Secondary school. It seems like yesterday I wrote the post called   Tick Tock and described how worried and emotional I was at the thought of him leaving primary school and venturing off into the big world of bigger kids, bigger bags and a bigger school.

It has been so wonderful to watch him mature into such a gorgeous young man and although It hasn't all been a bed of roses at times we have dealt with things together and resolved them without much pain.



Homework has been the biggest shock to the system and to say he is a reluctant homeworker is an understatement, he will do the bare minimal required and not a pen stroke more than is necessary. I will admit to sitting with him trying to bribe encourage him into doing it with some form of enthusiasm and to stop him fiddling with his pen/ruler/rubber/elastic band etc. etc.........Boys are just so different aren't they? When The Teenager was his age she made huge efforts with anything school related even going as far as making a whole virtual 3D model of where we live instead of the required drawing..................The Whirlwind.................Well.......................He did a quick pencil drawing and stuck a few labels on it then wondered why he didn't get a very good grade.

The uniform has been another shock to the system for him, he was used to wearing shorts and a polo shirt and suddenly had to go into shirt, tie, blazer and long trousers. I must admit I laughed as I watched him walk off on his first day, he looked like he was wearing Mr DG's suit by mistake, sleeves to long, trousers too baggy and a bag bigger than he was. These days he's kind of grown into it and looks more like he works for a building society or BA cabin crew.

He has made some brilliant friends too and although I was worried sick about friendships he has proved that it really doesn't matter who you are and aren't in a class with because they all just make new friends after a few weeks.

Of course we still struggle with The Teenage grunting and mood swings but we seem to have a handle on them at the moment (fingers crossed, touching wood, saluting a lone Magpie). I have come to learn that he is just like every other boy teetering on the edge of Teenager Hood and that he is starting to understand that its not fun for anyone when he's in a mood let alone him.

I will look back at this past year as a 100% success and am relived that he has done his first year, he struggled so much in Primary school and I honestly believe that starting Secondary school has been the absolute making of him in many ways. I know that things are going to get harder for him as he goes up in the ranks but I am confident that we can achieve anything as long as we work together as a family.

I feel truly blessed to have 2 such gorgeous, respectful and kind hearted kids and thank my lucky stars everyday that I have them (Oh God...I'm getting teary now....Bloody PMT) I hope that they both continue to grown up into the decent and mindful adults that I know they can be.

Good Luck to anyone with kids embarking on this great adventure............................................Just remember to get them regular back massages due to enormous bags they will be lumping round all day..................

Lots of Love
Me
xxxxx

PMT (Pardon My Tantrum)

I am writing this blog post from the safety of my PMT cave..............................................Once a month I will retreat to this emotional place and wait it out until it passes. My whole PMT nightmare begins about 4 days before lift off and progresses as follows.....

1. Hair -  suddenly takes on the limpness of a salad leaf that has been left out in the sun for a week.

2. Nails - Suddenly split, chip and break to leave me with unattractive stumps.

3. Eyes - Makeup slides off without me even knowing it to reveal piggy pee holes in the snow.

4. Skin- My once radiant skin now resembles a rhinos backside and requires double the amount of face cream.

5. Body- This is a particularly attractive side effect..............To cut a long story short........Jabba The Hut (Star Wars) has nothing on me when it comes to water retention.

6. Brain- I pride myself on being relatively intelligent (I said relatively), that is until PMT strikes........Forgetful, paranoid, jealous and just generally crazy are just a few of the symptoms that hit me. Mr DG doesn't stand a chance and any slight change in the way he looks at me results in me accusing him of all matter of things.

7. Mood- Hmmmmmmm.........................Where do I begin................................Glen Close(Fatal Attraction) crossed with The Woman In Black.......................Need I say more.............

8. Cravings- Anything that doesn't say "Less than 30g of fat". You know its here when you start adding chocolate chips to your soup.

It really is an utterly miserable time for us girls isn't it, Mr DG is very understanding and many men would of walked years ago but he continues to feed me chocolate and say nice things (except that time when he told me that it was called PMT due to Mad Cows Disease already being taken.........Lets just say, its a good job he can run quickly) of course I don't believe a word he is saying but the gesture is nice all the same. But lets face it, if men had periods the government would allocate funds to study it and there would be a bank holiday every 28 days for them.

I would love to hear how you tackle your PMT demons and any top tips would be gratefully welcomed. Failing that I am just going to consider building a PMT shed down the bottom of the garden for me and The Teenager to retreat to..................................It will of course be stocked with a supply of fattening foods, weepy movies and......................................................NO MIRRORS !!!

Anyway, I'm off to await the Menopause...........

Lots of PMT Love
Me
xxxxxx

Incy Wincey Spider.......

I love animals, in fact I'm a real fan of them........................................OK......................That's not entirely true.....................................I love cute fluffy adorable animals...................................I do not like one particular species of creature.............................................................

I know, I know they are good for the environment and belong in the great food chain but I cant help it.................................I hate them.

Last night Mr DG and I were sitting quite happily having a glass of wine and watching TV when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw it..................Big, black, hairy and not the remotest bit bothered that he was striding right in front of us across the floor without a care in the world. At one point I swear he looked me square in the eye and winked a wink that said "Listen love.......I'm big.......I'm Hairy....................Your scared and I'm in no rush".

With that, I screamed, Mr DG screamed (my hero) and the dog leapt off the carpet onto the sofa with all the bravery of a cabbage. The kids then came pelting down the stairs with The Whirlwind begging to see the monster that had encroached our living space and The Teenager screaming "OH MY GOD.....OH MY GOD......DON'T SHOW ME.....I WILL LITERALLY DIE" (why come down and look then).

Mr DG at this point had smacked the THING with a cushion (I know, I know, a cushion) the THING must of laughed to itself as this fluffy all feather pillow landed on it. It then ran like Seb Coe across the room (I swear he had sweat bands on) and went straight under the sofa.......................Mr DG yanked the sofa away from the wall so quickly the THING kind of froze then did a Scooby Doo type running on the spot action before making another dash for it....."HA HA HA" I yelled "NOT SO COCKY NOW ARE YOU"........"MWA AH AH AH" (evil laugh).

We then proceeded to whack it with a variety of things (a shoe, another cushion, a slipper and the remote control) whilst screaming at each other to "GET IT" The Whirlwind obviously realising that his parents were now in a complete state of hysteria and are thoroughly useless casually walked over with a glass and promptly encased it before slipping a postcard underneath (thanks mum, glad you had a nice time) and captured the THING.

We then endured a kind of cat and mouse game as The Teenager screamed "DON'T THROW IT AT ME....OH MY GOD........I SWEAR I WILL WET MYSELF AND THEN DIE" and The Whirlwind threatening to stick it down her back if she doesn't promise to do his chores for a whole week. The THING which was still under the glass was by now probably thinking that he'd had a lucky escape and was now worrying what would happen to him if he is in fact stuck down a 16 year old girls blouse who may or may not wet herself or worse ................................Die.

Mr DG had now relaxed and was congratulating himself on his speed and endurance while I was still standing on a chair sweating and panting with anxiety. The kids went back upstairs to taunt each other and the dog..............Well.................he kind of forgot the whole episode (3 second memory span and all that) and was now looking at me wondering why I was still up on a chair. As for the THING...................................Well after much deliberation The Whirlwind decided it was probably best for all concerned if he deposited it away from the house and walked it down the road a bit before releasing it back into nature.

So you see, although I hate the things and am not ashamed to say that I am totally 100% terrified of them it pleases me that my phobia has not rubbed off onto The Whirlwind .........................................The other one....................Well..............................She went upstairs and started laying conkers around her room (old wives tale), cello taping up any little cracks she could find, tucking her PJ's into her socks and placing a collection of heavy books strategically next to her bed in case she needed to throw one........................................................That's my girl........................I have taught you well...................

Lots of Love
Me
xxxx

Oh Mandy!!!!!

This morning was an interesting one to say the least. After getting up a tiny bit later than usual due to watching the rather terrifying Luther last night on catch up we didn't sleep that well at all. This wasn't surprising as the whole story line ran along that of a rather sadistic serial killer who hid under beds and in lofts waiting for his victims before turning them into a Siouxsie and the Banshees type puppet thing.

I have to be honest here, I love gritty dramas especially crime ones but the main reason for watching this was the rather gorgeous Idris Elba.........Not that Mr DG knows this.............He just thinks I watch it for the plot line......Silly Man.......

Anyway, where was I.....Oh yes...........Slept in late and awoke with one eye still pinned open after watching the landing for above mentioned serial killer to pounce. Obviously this didn't happen (touching a lot of wood) as I am still here typing to you. Got The Whirlwind off to school for day 2 of his Digital Photography course (photos coming later) and ran upstairs to clean my teeth..................................................I think singing Barry Manilows "Mandy" might of upset the Gods above as I somehow managed to trap my belt over the door handle and rip the belt loop clean off my jeans. Cursing the crappy door knobs we have I carried on with my ablutions and also carried on singing "Mandy".........................."Oh Mandy la la la la la la but I sent you away oh Mandy la la la la"
....................................BANG!!! Went my little toe as I stubbed it on the door....WHACK!! Went my head as I stood up and walloped it on the bathroom cabinet................... I wont repeat what foul words left my mouth as I know I have some wholesome followers who may unfollow me in the next 3 seconds. Never the less it was not a terribly ladylike vocabulary that filled the bathroom as I sank to the floor clutching my toe with one hand and my head with the other.

I hobbled into the bedroom to see if I had a cartoon like bump growing out of my hair.Whilst sitting at the dressing table I peered into the mirror..................Suddenly out the corner of my eye reflected in my mirror I saw a figure emerging from under my bed..........................................I almost dropped dead with fright right there and then.....................In all the commotion I hadn't noticed The Teenager had disappeared from her bed and had decided that it would be "funny" to make me jump ..................I'm not sure "Funny" would be the word to describe how I felt but she collapsed with laughter at the sheer look on my face. To be fair to her she hadn't watched Luther with us for obvious reasons so had no idea that I had spent half the night waiting for this very act to happen. Her reason for doing it....................................................."Maybe you will stop singing that bloody awful song now" she laughed whilst leaving the room............................................................

I think I have recovered now from my trauma and have decided we need to get a bed with drawers underneath so nobody can fit under there. Mind you..................................My theory is.......................As long as I keep singing Barry Manilow songs at the top of my voice I think I might be safe....................Fingers crossed.......................Touch wood................Saluting a lone magpie........

"At the Copa......Copa Cabana......The hottest club north of Havana............At the Copa Copa

Cabana................La la la la la la la la la.........................." 

I HATE SPORTS DAY!!

Two things have caught my attention today....................One is that a lot of you have the much loved sports days either happening today or coming up very soon. I am going to be brutally honest and I am sure this post may evoke a large cry of "HOW COULD SHE SAY THAT" however I will say it ...........................................I HATE SPORTS DAY.

Luckily for me both mine are over the sports day bump and I no longer have to stand in the blistering heat (ha ha) watching a whole class of kids pass a bloody bean bag over their heads. What happened to the good old egg and spoon race, three legged race and the sack race..........................I will tell you what happened.............Health and Safety is what happened.

I am sure that all schools differ with their sporting activities but when my kids were in primary school it was a lot of passing balls over heads, throwing beanbags in hoops and a special favourite of The Whirlwind.................The skipping rope race..............I mean, please................................It is a known fact that boys cannot skip, The Whirlwind looked like Mr Bean with coordination problems and proceeded to fall over more times than Iggle Piggle from In The Night Garden.

I am sure if you have extremely sporty kids it must be a joy for you to watch but if like me you happen to have the 2 most unsporty like kids in the universe please spare a thought for us poor parents that have to endure all the tears and tantrums (and that's just the parents) as they come last in every race.

You will of course have to endure those parents that think they have the next Usain Bolt in a PE kit and are happy to tell you how you should try to encourage yours to do more sports and then maybe they wont be as upset (I kid you not when I say someone actually once said this to me). All kids are brilliant in different areas and unfortunately for The Whirlwind it wasn't skipping.......................................He once asked me when in the future he would ever use this skill (after the same women from above offered to teach him how to use a skipping rope), I didn't really have an answer except that maybe ...........................Maybe.........................Some day.........................Nope...................I just didn't have an answer.

It was no secret that I hated sports day and I became quite the professional in the art of moaning about it. Luckily I had many friends that felt exactly the same way as I did and we decided the only way to get through it was laughter (and Gin) no...............no...................I'm just kidding, we wouldn't take Gin onto a school playing field...........Honest.

The second thing that caught my attention today was that David Beckham had won the dads race at his sons sports day................................................If he had been a Dad at my kids school...................I might just of enjoyed it a little bit more. And my stash of Gin might of made Posh Spice smile......................................................Come on....................I said might.

Good luck to all you kids out there

Lots of Love
Me
xxx

The Royal Waiting Game

Can you believe the press are already jostling for places outside the London hospital where Wills and Kate might have their baby this week.....Or next week.....Or the week after....Or possibly the week after that.

This has left me wondering how she will get past them all without being noticed. Will she be puffing and panting with legs on the dashboard screaming at Wills to "SHUT THE HELL UP" (oh no.....That was just me) or will she be as regal as ever and just walk straight in without so much as a facial twitch during contractions. Will she have to wait for an anaesthetist or will she grab Wills by the collar and demand he goes out into the streets of London and score her some drugs (whoops....me again).

When I had The Teenager I convinced myself that I would look like a royal princess afterwards and a fanfare would sound out through the streets as she emerged into the world. Unfortunately this wasn't to be and I actually looked like more like Stig of the Dump and the only fanfares were those of sirens as a squad of police cars zoomed past my window.

I would love to be a fly on the wall and watch this momentous birth (come on One Born Every Minute get your act together), I would love to see how a royal birth differs from ours. Will Charles and Camilla be pacing outside in the family room drinking vending machine coffee..................Will Harry be off wetting the baby's head from the moment she goes into labour until the baby is 2................................Will Queeny knit some booties and a matching hat and more importantly will Kate's mums party company provide all the bunting and balloons.

Whatever happens in the next few weeks will be fascinating and I for one will be waiting to see what they have and which names they pick for him/her.

Good Luck Wills and Kate...............................................................Message for Kate..........Remember to do your pelvic floor exercises afterwards love.

Lots of love
Me
xxxx