Thursday, 22 January 2015

10 Things You Never Say To A Teenager

"Aren't you going to put a coat on ?" I asked on a particularly freezing -2º kind of morning. This question was answered with a grunt and then a huff as if to say"Yeah right, I have a jumper and blazer on. Why the hell do I need a coat...........I am a Teenage Boy and I DO NOT do coats".


What is it with them ?..................I often find myself asking this question. What happens between the age of 11 and 16 is something that will forever baffle me.......I know I know its hormones blah blah blah. But what about what really happens......................Like what really goes in their minds. I walk around on egg shells some days not wanting to say the wrong thing or fuel a massive strop, I don't remember being like this (or though my Mother will probably say different). With this in mind I have learnt the careful art (and it is an art) of not what to say and when not to say it.


1. Hurry Up - This will be met with rather interesting response that may involve a swear word or two, you cannot I repeat cannot hurry a Teenager up. They are on their own schedule and will not change it for anyone............Especially you!

2. Why don't you do that extra piece of homework if your bored ? - Expect school books to be shoved back in bag and a rant of "I'm so tired.......I'm not doing anymore than is necessary. If they wanted me to do it they shouldn't of said OPTIONAL" This may be followed by a sudden urge to disappear upstairs and pretend they have "other" stuff that is far more important.

3. So, what do you want to be when you finish school - This question is usually asked by older relatives that haven't seen them morph into a Teenager and is answered with a shrug or a simple "Dunno". To be honest at 13 I don't think I knew what I wanted to be,  I vaguely remember wanting to be a Dolphin Trainer or a Nun at some stage.

4. I absolutely forbid you to do that - This will be met with the most hysterical laughter and rolling around on the floor by The Teenager. Saying that I did use the sentence "You will not find anyone higher than me at this moment, not even GOD" which did seem to evoke a stunned reaction before the laughter began.

5. Whats wrong - The most pointless question ever if asked to a Teenager, they have no clue whats wrong so why the heck should they be able to tell you the answer. I find a more subtle approach is needed like "I'm downstairs if you need a hug" I would imagine from the boys point of view this is their worst nightmare but on the rare occasion it has worked.

6. Can you tidy your room please - Again, pointless.

7. Is that what you're wearing ? - The minute this comes out of my mouth I instantly regret it, why oh why did I say it. Not many words are exchanged but its the look that is shot at you from a 17 year old female of the species. If looks could kill.........I wouldn't be typing this.

8. Shall we do a selfie together - Good luck with this one.......

9. When I was your age - They don't care about when you were young, in fact I don't even think they recognise you were young once. To them you were born into an era of no social networking, no phones and Crackerjack..................Actually I can see their point.

10. We'll See - Teenagers are much like toddlers and cannot deal with the uncertainty of an unanswered question. A full description is needed along with photographic and legal evidence to back up any plans that they need confirming.

They are just a few questions that I try not to ask but I could go on and on and on.......................To be honest both of mine aren't really that bad and I love them to death even with all the strops and mood swings. I guess one day they will have kids of their own and will be happy to accept any advice I might have............................................Although, I might reply with one
word............................."DUNNO".

Lots of Love
Me
xxxxxxxx

45 comments:

  1. If it is any consolation, They soon outgrow this stage and become responsible adults. I know as mine was just like this as a teenager but a great young man now. Just keep on loving them.

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    1. Now that is something i am looking forward to, thank you Mina you have put my mind at rest xxx

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  2. It sounds a little similar to my threenager!! I was hoping for light at the end of the tunnel ;)

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    1. I am so so sorry darling, its not all bad. At least they are old enough to make you a cuppa xxx

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  3. OMG I have a tween and they sound so similar. I am worried about being a mum to two teenage boys!

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    1. Fear not Jen........I am here for all your questions and rants. On the plus side they do sleep in longer and are out most of the time lol xx

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  4. All sounds very familiar and I chuckled out loud with "we'll see"! I say that all the time and it drives my 15 year old mad.

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    1. Its the one thing i have always said bit evokes such a barrage of questions so I try and answer now xx

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  5. lol lol sorry Sam I am rolling with laughter ... this sounds like my house everyday! and what is it with not wearing coats?!

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    1. Can you imagine feeling cold of purpose Jaime, maybe we should try it just to see.........Or maybe not xxxx

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  6. Ha ha! I can still get away with the selfie one, but I wonder how long for?! Can I just skip the teenage bit xxx

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    1. Its the look on her face when i suggests it...........I think its because i can't do "the pout" xxx

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  7. Ha ha I love shall we do a selfie together!! I'm dreading when my boy becomes a teen! xx

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    1. You have to know all about lighting and pouting apparently, and I can't do it i have been told xxxx

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  8. Oh my i read too many posts about teenagers! Really not looking forward to having teenage girls!

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    1. It will be fine Otillia, My daughter is almost 18 and its all calming down thank goodness xx

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  9. So funny - it resonates with my teen and every day I say to her "take your coat" and then comes the eye rolling and the grunts! xx

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    1. The eye rolling and grunts are just so special aren't they NOT. I have started to do it to them but they just laugh at me xxx

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  10. Oh I love all of this, so cannot wait to get to that stage with my girls *lying* :D

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    1. I cannot wait to read all about it when they do Steph, just remember everything that you have heard and then you'll be ready xx

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  11. I love your I'm here if you red a hug approach. I think you're so right and often they just can't explain or understand what's wrong.

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    1. Sometimes it works sometimes is doesn't....I have to say that my daughter loves a hug but my son is a bit more less likely to do it. xx

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  12. It feels like only yesterday I was the rebellious teen but now I have an almost 11 year old stand I'm dreading it haha. Neither of mine like to wear costs even in the snow... Odd x

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    1. I honestly think kids are just more warm blooded than we were, i loved putting on my winter coat but he just thinks its "lame" in his words xx

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  13. Thankyou so much Kareema, you really do have a whole scale of ages so your more experienced than me. You will have to let me have some handy tips xxx

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  14. hahahahaha toally relate to so many of these! The phrase 'tidy your room' is said as often as I breathe out I think!

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    1. I think thats what i may have on my headstone Sonya, i feel like a recording sometimes xx

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  15. Haha this totally cracked me up, love number 10 :) so glad I don't have to deal with teenagers yet! x

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    1. Thankyou Charlotte, its certainly a thing time but i wouldn't swap them for anything xxx

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  16. Im very far away from having a teenager but i have a 14 year old sister and this post sums her up completely Ha!! made me giggle x

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  17. Hurry up... oh yes... they seem to totally lack the understanding of its meaning

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    1. Why is that such a hard question for them to answer. And if you do it too them........WOW xxx

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  18. Oh my
    I'm not looking forward to this age group

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    1. Just remember there are lots of us to ask Clare.......Enjoy the little times xxxx

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  19. Ha and my wife says most of this to me!

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    1. My hubby would agree with you, not that he would admit it any of them mind you xx

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  20. He is right (Beautykinguk) I do say most of these to him lol x

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    1. Ha ha.....You two have made me chuckle tonight. I love that you are both on here xxx

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  21. Haa haa - i can so relate to this......what is it with boys and no coats??? My eldest has thankfully grown out of this now (well mostly) - just 5 more to go!

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    1. I really cannot understand why it is such a problem Kara.....Anyone would think i was making him wear a coat of thorns xx

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  22. He he I throw the 'Why don't you do your homework if you're bored' thing at them all the time! More recently I've been saying a lot of 'What's Wrongs?' too - major faux pas! x

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    1. We are in this together Suzanne.....One day we will look back and laugh........I hope lol xxx

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  23. The even funnier thing is that you published this on the day we did our Go Without Your Coat for the Kids of Syria charity thing!! I reckon this is the last year we could do this as my very sensible 10yr old daughter thought it a great sacrifice to go without her coat. By next year she'll be at sec school and wondering what a coat is! (It also made her realise that none of the boys in her Yr 6 class wear coats as its uncool - she hadn't noticed before then!) What i wanna know is, WHY DON"T THEY FEEL COLD! PS Can you EVER ask ANY child to 'hurry up' successfully?!! Sx

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    1. I saw that too Siobhan and laughed out loud. My daughter is very sensible and it does seem to be a boy thing i think xxx

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