I have a few confessions that I feel I need to share with you. Its been almost 20 years since I met you and in all that time there have been moments that I have told a few white lies. I have decided to get them off my chest in the hope you will
1. I purposely take really long showers just as the shopping is about to be delivered. I time it perfectly so I don't have to carry it all in and unpack it. Even when I ask you what time its coming you still haven't cottoned on.
2. When I tell you I'm off out to "run some errands" what I am actually doing is......Shopping....I will hide things in the car and take them out when you have gone to work the next day.
3. When you ask me if I am wearing something new I usually say "Nope....You just haven't noticed"......This is a lie and I have in fact just popped down to the car to retrieve it from the stash I purchased when I was "doing errands".
4. On a night out I am actually made up of 60% Nylon, 30% Spandex and only 10% woman. I am sweaty and uncomfortable as well as finding it hard to breathe.....Please do not attempt to initiate sex when we get home until I have peeled my self out of it allowing my body to recover and swing freely.
5. When I make those little noises in my sleep that you find so cute I am in fact dreaming that Hugh Jackman has followed me back on Instagram and is my biggest fan.............
I hope aren't too cross and I promise not to do any of them any more.....................................Sorry................................I'm laughing at myself now................................What I actually promise is to never show you this blog post.
Lots of Love
A woman after my own heart. Made me laugh out loud!ReplyDelete
Thank you Stella xxxDelete
Ha ha ha, you're a very brave woman! And a very funny one too ;) x xReplyDelete
I'm banking on him not reading it to be honest. xxxxxDelete
LOL I love this! Thanks for the tips, particularly about hiding those shopping sprees oh and the timing of the shower!ReplyDelete
All vital to your own sanity xxxDelete
hehe that's given me a chuckle today.ReplyDelete
Thanks Angela xxDelete
I love this!! I do the disappearing upstairs when shopping is coming trick as well!ReplyDelete
Well done Rachel ssshhhh !!!! xxDelete
hahah love this , and it is soo most definatly true xReplyDelete
Thanks Lisa xxxDelete
Ha ha ha I love this post! There are always going to be little white lies. I can just imagine you dashing back and forth with bags of shopping as soon as hes gone to work lol xReplyDelete
Thanks Kirsty.....Its a great way to keep fit xxDelete
*giggles a lot* brilliant post- hope he doesnt read it though, so you can carry on getting away with it all!ReplyDelete
So do I Sonya............Its ok....I will hide the laptop in the boot with all my new shoes xxDelete
Ha ha! Brilliant. I can identifying with a lot of these, Thanks for making me smile. xReplyDelete
You are so welcome my lovely xxDelete
I just take long showers so I can have time off from the children! Great post.ReplyDelete
That should of been number 6 Jenny xxxDelete
Ha this is hilarious. I do the shopping thing too. Me and my best friend used to say we were going window shopping then both hide all the bags and get them out later! Too poor nowadays though!ReplyDelete
Girls after my own heart xxDelete
Great post and very brave to bare all!ReplyDelete
Im only brave because I don't think he will read it lol xxxDelete
lol! I love this - totally get the swing freely after a night out bit too!ReplyDelete
Thanks hun......Nothing feels better than a bit of booby freedom xDelete
hehe If I had a confession to make (IF HAHA) it would be I purposely make out I can't do something so in your 'Me Tarzan' mode you take over - I've had my partner do the hoovering 3 times this week because of the new hoover 'oh its soo hard to push this one' :DReplyDelete
Girl power at it's best
Ooooo good one....I need to remember that xxDelete
Thanks Claire xxDelete
Ahh completely brilliant- love the 10% woman thing and I am totally with you on that one! When I say I'm going on a few errands it normally means I'm off to my fav café for a vanilla latte and a gossip with a mate- that's why I am gone so long as you can never have just 1 latte!! :)ReplyDelete
1 Latte is never enough and a slice of cake or 2......Maybe that's why I need Spandex xxxxDelete
This has made me giggle-thank you!ReplyDelete
You are so welcome Bek xxDelete
haha this made me laugh! I do the pretend 'no I've had it AGES thing too' :)ReplyDelete
Love this, so funny :)ReplyDelete
I can relate to all these, but shhhhhh......don't tell mine lolReplyDelete
Haha love this! I must remember the 'doing errands' one! :)ReplyDelete