Which Playground Parent Are You ??

Now that my kids are Teenagers I thought it would be highly unlikely that I would ever venture into that daunting world of the Primary School playground again........Well....Until I become a Granny then I shall be back.

Anyway, last week a friend of mine asked me if I would pick up her little one from a local school.................Not, I must add my kids old school but another one. Without a moments hesitation I jumped at the chance and made sure I was there in plenty of time to see her coming out. Whilst standing there feeling a bit like a spare part at a wedding I noticed how many different types of parents there really are........................Why had I never noticed this when mine were small? Where had all these different personalities come from ? And more importantly.....Which one did I fit into??

Here are my different types of Playground Parent.................Which one are you??

1. The "I have no interest in being your friend" ... This type will usually sit on the end of a bench (not a friendship one), wear dark sunglasses and avoid all eye contact with you. If a conversation is initiated you will normally find she/he will answer in one word. She is not interested in playground gossip and does certainly not want to talk about your child.

2.  The "Mean Girl Group"..........A particularly difficult species to infiltrate. Will usually be found in a group with an invisible force field around them and a sign that says "Don't bother" placed on the ground....OK............Maybe not the sign but definitely the force field. They will whisper and take over the shoulder looks at you until you either leave the playground crying or give them the finger.

3. The "Bragger".......An annoying specimen who will tell everyone in a very loud voice how many certificates little Johnny has got this term and how he is in "Every" top group in school........They will then go onto advising you on how you should be parenting so that you to can have a perfect child...........You will normally find that little Johnny is off somewhere terrorising another child.

4. The "Turn a Blind Eye and It will all go away" ....................................A particular pest in the playground who will actively ignore whatever their child is doing whether it be wrestling another child against their will or kicking a trash can over. The normal reaction is "I like my kids to be free and express themselves"...............Try telling that to the child that is in a head lock...

5.  The "Phone Junkies"........I have never seen this type in action before today but let me tell you....They are impressive....Not only can they text, email, Tweet and Instagram whilst holding a conversation and watching their kids but they can do it all with one hand..........And I am sure by the time they get home it will be on Facebook too.

6.  The "Social Butterfly"........Usually a PTA mummy who likes to say hello to everyone and lull them into a false sense of security before enlisting them on the committee........She/He is very good at getting you involved even if you don't really want to be.....She is even brave enough to take on the Mean Girls and The I Have No Interest type........Hang On.......................................Wait A minute.............................I was a PTA mum for 10 years......................I think I've found my type...

7. The "I'm Just A Mum/Dad"...........And then there's everybody else...............................These lovely souls don't fit into any of the above category and are happy to chat and giggle with everyone else. I think to be honest in my observations the groups above would secretly like to escape and join you.......................


My time spent in the playground was enlightening and haven't changed that much from when I was there. I guess in life there are different groups of people some nice and some not so nice but we all have one thing in common.....Whether we want to be there or not........................................We are......................................Just remember this............................................Your children are blank canvases, and its up to you to paint the best quality picture you can..........





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