Thursday, 20 March 2014

And....Breathe.

Some of my most thoughtful insights come to me in the bit before everyone gets up and creates havoc. Today is no different, its 6am and I am alone............Well apart from the dog who is Super Glued to me..............The house is quiet apart from the ticking of my many clocks (a bit of an obsession), Mr DG hates them all and thinks its like listening to time slipping away with every "tick,tock"..........The birds are beginning to wake up and chatter away in the garden and occasionally the odd car drives past slowly. My coffee is next to me and with each sip I become more awake ready to take on the world. I love the peace and stillness of the house when everyone is still in the land of dreams and I breathe slowly savouring the oncoming morning chaos that the school/work day brings......................................................Another deep long slow breath......................Then............

"I'm first in the shower today, you went first yesterday"

"No, way......YOU went first yesterday.....................Its sooooooo unfair"

"Oh my God.....I so did not go first, this is like totally typical of you in the morning......................MUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!"

I close my eyes as the angelic yelling shatters my silence.........I wait for Mr DG to interject...............This doesn't happen...................Until.........................................................The brand new shower cubicle doors slam shut..............................................................

"For God's sake don't slam those doors, we paid a fortune for that new bathroom and you are going to wreck it in 5 minutes.................................I don't work all day just for you two to trash our house"

"It wasn't me it was her.....................She tried to trap my finger in it on purpose"

"I so totally did not...........Its not my fault if your fat fingers get in the way all the time"

"MMMMUUUUMMMMMMMMMM.......................She said I had fat fingers"

The last sip of coffee slips down my throat and the dog sighs and long painful "Here we go again" sigh. Mr DG has appeared and shakes his head in desperation...."Honestly, those two".............In my mind I wonder why he is down here with me and why he doesn't just sort it out......"I will leave you to referee that match" he says with a wink.......................................................................................

Another slam of the shower doors........................."MUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMM he's just called me a cow.......Can I slap him?"

"I never called you a Cow.........................Plus.....................You called me a Moronic Dipstick and Fat"

I climb the stairs with meaning and stand looking at the pair of them..................................And hit them with the greatest super power I posses .......................................................THE MUMMY LOOK................................They both break eye contact and slope off into their rooms, peace has returned and for once I shower in peace..........................................................A cold one as they have used all the hot water...............And Breathe................................................

56 comments:

  1. Amanda20 March 2014 at 01:33

    Oh wow - reading this makes me glad we're only having the one child, mornings like that sound far too hectic for that early in the morning ;) I love the fact the Mummy Look works like a charm!

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  2. Helen (NellB14)20 March 2014 at 02:37

    Hey, that's my house you're talking about! (except I haven't got a dog) I just love the peace when I walk in the door having dropped them all off at school. My ears literally ring, you know, the same feeling you have the morning after going to a concert! Today my 13yo had a screaming meltdown, because I laid out a skirt and tights for her and not trousers and socks. Silly me! I forgot to put my psychic head on when I got up. Keep enjoying the silence! xxx

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    1. The 40 Year Old Domestic Godddess20 March 2014 at 04:50

      Oh No....Not the dreaded wrong uniform scenario............I wish someone would lay my clothes out for me. They don't know how lucky they are xxxx

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  3. Sylvia F.20 March 2014 at 03:16

    It makes my feel like we need to extend "our" almost bought house and make another bathroom just in case ;) Mummy look always work even on me and I'm not a small child anymore ;)

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    1. The 40 Year Old Domestic Godddess20 March 2014 at 04:52

      IT is a huge problem only having 1 bathroom...I am in the process of drawing up a rota.....Like a B&B.....Wait.....Oh my God.......I'm running a B&B xxx

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  4. Unknown20 March 2014 at 03:42

    children)) i guess thats whats im going to have soon *not looking forward*

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    1. The 40 Year Old Domestic Godddess20 March 2014 at 04:52

      YOu are indeed....Read as many parenting blog posts as you can xxxx

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  5. Claire Toplis20 March 2014 at 03:45

    I only have one child * and I don't seem to have permission to use my own bathroom

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    1. The 40 Year Old Domestic Godddess20 March 2014 at 04:53

      I think its a KID LAW that they invented in the womb....xxx

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  6. Twinsplustwo20 March 2014 at 03:56

    Impressed the "Mummy look" works in your house.... maybe I don't look stern enough!

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    1. The 40 Year Old Domestic Godddess20 March 2014 at 04:54

      I think I might of done it too hard this morning...I have a headache now xx

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  7. Mummy of Two20 March 2014 at 03:59

    I think this will resonate with most people who have children! I don't get up early very often but, when I do, I love that peace and quiet before everyone gets up and the house becomes noisy again!

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  8. Kim Carberry20 March 2014 at 04:16

    Sounds a lot like my house in the morning.....My girls only have to look at each other and it causes an argument....lol

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    1. The 40 Year Old Domestic Godddess20 March 2014 at 04:56

      Same here, we often say that the eldest could start an argument in an empty room xx

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  9. Michelle O20 March 2014 at 05:11

    Siblings - we love and hate each other in equal measures!

    I only have the one, so he can only argue with himself...or me...!

    I recently posted: #NoMakeUpSelfie [Project 365:2014 - Day 79]

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    1. The 40 Year Old Domestic Godddess20 March 2014 at 08:47

      I am an only child so my understanding of siblings arguing is something alien to me.....I longed for a brother or sister. xxx

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  10. Unknown20 March 2014 at 06:18

    This is my house in the morning....only the dog doesn't just sigh, he runs under the bed and hides for the next 2 hours! Why don't men intervene, that's what I want to know?!

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    1. The 40 Year Old Domestic Godddess20 March 2014 at 08:48

      I wish I knew why, he has no trouble telling me off when the phone bill is high.

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  11. Eat To Live20 March 2014 at 06:30

    I sure don't miss those days of kids fighting with each other... but at the end of the day... They love each other.

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  12. Coombe Mill - Fiona20 March 2014 at 06:41

    I think your house sounds very normal, or we are all abnormal!

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    1. The 40 Year Old Domestic Godddess20 March 2014 at 08:50

      I think it does after reading all the responses. One day they will realise how much they love each other....Hopefully xx

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  13. Eileen Teo20 March 2014 at 06:44

    You have a fun house! Noise is good

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  14. Unknown20 March 2014 at 09:13

    oh i know exactly whats its like , we just plod on and hope it calms down as they get older , wit my 7 its a walking time bomb every minute in our house lol x

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  15. Jen Walshaw20 March 2014 at 10:28

    I am not a morning person, but I love it when everyone is asleep and I am awake! I hate ticking clocks they slowly drive me insane

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  16. Emma20 March 2014 at 11:05

    I hold you in admiration that you actually get up before they do! This sounds like our mornings though. Teen, tween and toddler make for manic mornings!

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  17. Agata Pokutycka20 March 2014 at 12:10

    Oh yes... I know what you feeling at this situation

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  18. anna20 March 2014 at 12:48

    Oh dear, does not sound too relaxing! I am hoping that I get money to make an extension with my own private bathroom by the time my lot are teenager - I don't want to have to share and have them argue with me over the shower in the morning!

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  19. Kate Williams20 March 2014 at 12:50

    I have a five month old a three year old who doesn't do sleep so I can't remember the last time I was up before the chaos began! There is nothing like a bit of quiet though, so precious when you are a parent!

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    1. The 40 Year Old Domestic Godddess21 March 2014 at 01:21

      Bless you, I feel for you. My youngest never bloody slept xx

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  20. You Baby Me Mummy20 March 2014 at 13:18

    I feel as if I am there with you! Thankfully I only have one :) x

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  21. Happy Homebird20 March 2014 at 14:06

    I can just imagine your dog. My old girl looks at me sometimes when my son is having a tantrum and looks so cheesed off. Makes me giggle.

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  22. Damson Lane20 March 2014 at 15:10

    Brillliant! Sounds like a morning in my home when I was growing up. It is much quieter with just one, although the downside is that he likes to get up before 6am. You can never win!

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  23. Sarah Bailey20 March 2014 at 17:51

    Owch what a morning - lets hope you get a nice warm shower in peace sometime soon :)

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  24. Kara20 March 2014 at 23:50

    This sounds like a morning in my house........not sure the mummy look works for me anymore though

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    1. The 40 Year Old Domestic Godddess21 March 2014 at 01:24

      I think I tried the mummy look to hard....Gave me a headache xx

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  25. Tigerlilly Quinn22 March 2014 at 09:29

    haha this reminds me of morning with my siblings, my poor parents! x

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    1. The 40 Year Old Domestic Godddess29 March 2014 at 10:36

      Im an only child so my mum didn't have to put up with it xx

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  26. Charlotte23 March 2014 at 07:55

    Ha this is hilarious. Sooo not looking forward to my little ones growing up and having to contend with this every day! lol

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  27. Cass@TheDiaryofaFrugalFamily23 March 2014 at 12:20

    I'm usually really organised on a morning as we have to leave the house by 7.30 or I'll be late so we don't have chaos - that's generally saved for after school when we have homework/projects/after school activities to cram in ;-)

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  28. AMummyToo24 March 2014 at 02:25

    Ouch. I feel for you. At least your 'mummy look' actually works though - mine seems to have lost its power ;(

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  29. Unknown26 March 2014 at 02:09

    My mum look works on certain kids but I just hot a glimpse into my future. It could be fun lol

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  30. SarahMummy2 April 2014 at 06:57

    Ooh, I wish I had an effective Mummy Look! In my house the kids still want the other one to go in the shower first as they are still desperately trying to avoid showering!

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Love to hear your comments, and I will always try to reply xxx

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