When The Postman Knocks.



Can I just point out that this isn't me. ...I wish.

Picture the scene.......My new gorgeous rather expensive bathing suits have arrived, beautifully packaged with tissue paper and love. I have never ever spent a lot of money on swim wear but with the big holiday coming up this year I thought I would splash out (pardon the pun).







In my excitement at them arriving and the fact that it is about 90 degrees today I happily strip off in my lounge oblivious to the outside world.(Just for the record I have a very long front garden and I did check to see if anyone was around first before baring all.)

Now as all you ladies know, you always keep your knickers on so that if you need to send the costume back you can. But when it comes to the bra....well that came well and truly off.
So there I am with my new one piece on and feeling very happy with my purchase. I merrily strip off all the time thinking how lovely it would be to be a naturist and put the second one on when suddenly out of the corner of my eye I spot a red van pulling up outside.....

"OH MY GOOD GOD JESUS CHRIST".....Its only the bloody postman delivering another package for The Teenager that I had completely forgotten about. In my haste to get the costume off the sticky label that protects the crutch gets stuck to my knickers and then down they come too.
I have to get dressed.....I have to get this parcel.....I have to think of something.......On goes the cropped jeans over the top of the dangling cossie plus knickers, on goes the tea shirt minus the bra/scaffolding (please don't picture this if you are eating). I look around for the nearest thing to cover my hanging boobies....In desperation I grab the dog up into my arms and open the door.

"Hello there" says the postman stroking the dog..
"Hi, how are you" I happily reply "enjoying the warm weather" I carry on.....In my head someone is screaming "SHUT UP AND GET RID OF HIM" but oh no not me, I have a bloody chat with him whilst clutching the dog to my chest.
"I bet you like it hot don't you" he says to me in a  sort of smirking/laughing type of way.

It was at this moment the realisation dawns on me that maybe just maybe the huge mirror hanging in my living room may of reflected a naked me to him as he came up the path.







Please don't feel sorry for me.....Just feel sorry for the poor postman.
xxxx