Monday, 5 March 2012

The Detention Diaries

The Whirlwind has today left for a week long trip to the Isle of Wight, seeing his eagerness and excitement filled my heart with such pride today.
This has got me thinking about my school days and how much I would love to have a home movie so that I could watch all of those funny times again.
My primary days were filled with bad perms and just trying to stay out of the Head Teachers office and to be honest my secondary school days were much the same.
I went to a good school, a very good school actually which was ALL girls as my Mother and Father said that boys would distract me,in fact this was much worse as all I had to focus on was making people laugh and getting into trouble.

My top 10 most Grange Hill moments are as follows:

1. Duck Taping our RS teacher to her chair (well to be fair I didn't actually do the taping I was just look out, there was only so much sex education we could listen to).

2. Pretending I was interested in piano lessons just so we could sit in the warmth of the piano huts on cold days. ( I did however learn to play Chopsticks and Greensleeves before I got kicked off the course).

3. Tying my typing teachers feet together with a shoelace whilst she slept during lessons (well she shouldn't of been asleep should she, and I did untie them before she woke up).

4.Throwing clay at the ceiling during art and waiting for it to drop on the teachers head (it never did, but the anticipation was gripping).

5. Hiding under the stage during P.E only to get busted when I rolled a ball back out. ( the teacher didn't even know I was missing until she looked under and seeing us).

6. Deciding it would be funny to organise the whole class into sitting in different seats and giving them different names when we had a substitute teacher for a week ( I was called Bunty Walker for the whole time and the substitute teacher left oblivious to any prank).

7. Locking the biggest and best Hockey player in the P.E shed for the inter house final (which we won 5-2 by the way). Can I just add she is now a really muscly policewoman so lets hope shes not a blog fan.

8. Nipping off at lunchtime to go across the railway tracks to meet the boys from the school opposite ( defeated the object of no distractions Dad).

9. Deciding that I didn't really fancy the work experience place I had been given so pretended to be my mum and said I was ill, then sat in the park all day getting a great tan ( my mother has only just found out about this thanks to The Teenager, she would never have known due to the fact she thinks a laptop is a tray with a cushion underneath it).

10. Knocking the hats off the bitchy Convent School girls heads just as we walked past (sorry!! No I really am).

Note:- All of the above ended up with me spending a lot of time in detention.

I know you will probably be thinking I must of gone to a terrible school but trust me I didn't, I think back in those days it was just harder to get caught. Either that or I've just blocked the memories out. I had the best time at school and can only stress to my kids how they should cherish their time whilst there. The good thing about being such a terror at school is that I have worn the t-shirt, washed it and then tumble dried it so when my kids even think about doing something I am totally on the ball.

Sometimes when instilling the importance of good behaviour into The Whirlwind and The Teenager I catch myself thinking "you great big fat hypocrite". How can I be saying this to them when they haven't actually done anything wrong. I guess the thing to remember is that once you are in a job it would be totally unacceptable to tie your bosses shoe laces together or lock the office bully in the cupboard so school is really the only place you can get away with things like that before it affects your mortgage payments.

We are only kids for such a short space of time and they are the days we will look back on with either fond memories or sheer horror.
And quite honestly I turned out to be a good and decent human being with a zest for making people laugh and I'm a law abiding citizen with a lovely life.
So as long as there no such thing as Karma I'm home dry!!!

Disclaimer: No teachers, animals or people were hurt during the aforementioned tomfoolery. Please do not attempt any the above without being confident you can get away with it.


  1. I went to a convent....was it YOU who frisbied my boater into the hedge? ;)

  2. Yikes - your school days sound outrageous!! Although I see we had the same bad perm. lol

    Good to make your acquaintance


  3. You've gotta love those perms.

    Great to meet you too, thanks for reading xxx

  4. Haha, your post made me laugh! I went to an all girls secondary school too and I don't think it was good for me. Instead of focusing on my studies without boys to distract me, I became more intrigued by them than ever. Glad there are no videos of me from those days though, photos are bad enough :-)


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