Friday 17 June 2016

Guess What ?..................I'm Back.

Its been 174 days since my last blog, 24 weeks and 6 days since I last sat here and looked at this screen.............I think I might of been a little hasty when I retired. At the time I needed a break, at the time I was bored, frustrated and slightly pissed off at feeling redundant from the blogging world. But........................And it's a big but............................I have missed it, missed it much more than I ever thought I would. People have asked me why............Why did I just stop?. There is no simple answer it was just how I felt at the time.

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The last time I wrote anything was before Christmas and we had gone through a huge amount of change. Moving house, health issues and the biggest trauma.........The Female Teen (M) leaving home for Uni.

6 months on...................Guess what?...................I'M BACK. I have made a deal with myself that this time I will not put pressure on myself to blog every 10 minutes about general crap, I will not get stressed out when I don't get many comments and I will certainly not sell my soul to companies hoping to cash in on the fact I regularly say the word "Vagina" and "Weak Pelvic Floor".

This feels so alien to me now...............I almost feel a fraud writing again. Here goes.........................Be patient with me.

One of the biggest things to happen to me this year was becoming a "different" kind of parent. It took me many months to adjust to my eldest leaving home and if I'm completely honest I became a total bloody nightmare. Freshers week was the worst and I suddenly realised why she had decided to go 3 hours away...............................The times I thought about just going down there and hiding in various hedges to spy on her was overwhelming. The visions of her being attacked, kidnapped and robbed became regular dreams and I began to sit up and wait until I knew she was home before getting any sleep. She would text me without fail just to say she was home but even then it would take me another hour to get back to sleep..........................Running on 2 hours sleep a night did me no favours and I had to give myself a serious talking too..................................The black circles under my eyes resembled a Panda and my bags were so big they look more like trolleys.

Every time she came back I cried and every time she went back I cried again...............................Who was this person I had become, who was this gigantic mess staring back at me in the mirror. I had lost my sparkle and even worse than that I had lost my "funny".

Then, as if by some form of magic...........................It stopped..................................I stopped crying, pinning and waiting and I realised that she was fine. In fact she was more than fine she was bloody great, she had the most fabulous housemates who all looked after her as she was the youngest and regularly waved hello to me in the background of a Face Time chat. Admittedly I was almost caught naked once as I hadn't realised I had clicked "video" and she was in the kitchen surrounded by her housemates......................................I have never moved so quickly in my life.
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We have been down to Bath a few times and she even surprised me by turning up on the doorstep one Monday morning after getting 3 trains and a bus................................After the initial excitement and much screaming I then went into panic mode that she hadn't told me and what if something had happened......................."Calm down Mum" she said "I let people know I was coming home in case I hadn't arrived by 5pm"...............................You see, she really is fine.



The Boy Teen (H),who is now 6ft tall and talks like Prince William.........I kid you not has renewed his love for her and can't wait to see her every time she's home. They sit and chat for hours and hours about things I have no clue about and then laugh hysterically as I try to include myself in their conversation.

As June ends and July approaches I am so excited to have M home for 3 months.......Bloody Nora...........................3 months..............................Its going to be very strange having another female in the house again after all this time. I have got quite used to being the only one having PMT and mood swings and I'm not sure I am ready to share. I am accustomed to only clearing up after one kid and not two and most of all I don't want to share my make-up and beauty products............................What have I turned into.?..........................Am I suddenly the worst parent ever?.............................Nope....................I'm just a different kind of parent whose grown up along with my daughter.

http://www.clipartfinders.com/washing-machine-reviews-washer-&-dryers-best-machines-clipart-287955.htmlH is already talking about going to Uni in the future so I guess I'm going to have to go through it all again one day. At least next time I know I will survive and I will cope better than I expected.............................And lets be honest, if he goes to Uni the only thing I will have to worry about is him actually getting up for lectures and washing his clothes...............Ha ha ha ha washing his clothes..............Now that is funny.


YES...........I DID IT..........I BLOGGED.........I'M BACK!!!!!

Lots of love
Me xxxx

8 comments:

  1. Welcome back, you have been missed!

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  2. Yay! Thrilled to see you back. Made my year....and that's a tough call! Great to hear that thing shave progressed from the pining. Well done mamma! X

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    1. Hi Suzanne, bless you for saying that. Its actually good to be back i really have missed it xxx

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  3. Having been in your shoes and living to tell the tale, I warn you in advance, things will be *tense* for that first week as you both adjust!!
    You immediately go back into full on mamamode. It'll take her longer to revert to daughtermode! You'll find yourself mentally trotting out that " while you are living under MY roof" and rather horribly " I can't wait for you to go back to uni" !!


    If not, then please don't tell me as i will die from being the worst parent in the world! Be warned too, your towel cupboard, fridge and cupboards will be permanently empty and your washing basket full.
    Enjoy every minute!!

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    1. Don't worry you are certainly not the worst parent.....I have uttered under my breath both of those statments. I am on my 7th load of washing and as we had to clear room you can only imaging the crap she has bought back with her xxxxx

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  4. Hooray! Great to have you back lovely lady... I think it's perfectly fine to have taken a break... A bit of time out is sometimes a good thing... I've stepped back a bit this year and am enjoying it so much more. I realised all the pressure was self-imposed! So,lovely to see you here again. Looking forward to reading!

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  5. Hello my lovely friend and thanks so much for your kind words. xxx

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Love to hear your comments, and I will always try to reply xxx