Tuesday 12 May 2015

Pink Knickers and Lemon Meringue Pie.

Several things happened in quick succession today that have almost made me want to reach for the Gin bottle or at worst start smoking............

1. Male Teen decided that this morning was a fantastic time to throw an epic strop of all proportions due to the fact I refused to give him a letter excusing him from P.E............."OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SO UNFAIR...........I'VE BEEN COUGHING ALL MORNING (he had actually coughed once due to eating his toast too quickly and said toast went down the wrong hole ) AND I HAVEN'T SLEPT ALL NIGHT (another exaggeration of the truth.........He got up twice for a wee because he had drunk so much Coke) I HATE MY LIFE......." And that was the end of that. "LOVE YOU" I shouted as he was about to leave........BANG went the door.

2. Female Teen announced that she had a driving lesson at 9am, this is something I just cannot get used to...........................She is in charge of a car....................I fear that her attention will wander as she spots a pretty dress in the window of a shop. I said I wasn't going to watch her pull away but I lied and hid behind the Voile's until she had gone. The last time I saw her drive a car was an ELC Cosy Coupe and she wasn't very good at that to be fair.

3. Decided to get a wash on early and grabbed a bunch of whites................What I didn't notice was a pair of bright and I mean bright pink knickers (not mine) amongst all the washing............I won't go into details but you can imagine what happened next. Am now soaking Mr DG's baby pink shirts in bleach and Vanish hoping to bring them back to life. Failing that I am going to lie and say a Golden Eagle swooped down and snatched them all from the line.........WHAT..........Come on........I'd believe that.

4. Phoned Estate Agents to see if anything new had come on the market.........Did I mention we are moving???......Well, we are...............Sold ours but now can't find anything. Result.......Something new has appeared...............Had a drive over there to check it out before viewing ................................... .......................Bugger...................Backs onto a Grave Yard....................On the positive side at least the neighbours are dead quiet (sorry, couldn't resist). Tried to overlook the downside only to be told by The Female Teen that she would never come home for Uni if we moved there due to convincing herself that The Night Of The Walking Dead would happen if we did live there.

5. Decided to get a head start on all the candle orders I have committed too...............Today was Lemon Meringue Pie. Everything was going well until I caught the tiny bottle of very potent fragrance oil and knocked it all over the side. Grabbed my pipette and sucked up as much as I could squeezing it back into the bottle..................Phew I thought..............Lucky escape..........................
..................WRONG................Oil has seeped into crack on work top and my kitchen now smells like a sodding Lemon grove........................Dog is still sneezing and my eyes are watering.

6. Treated myself to a new bottle of rather expensive foundation only to discover the dippy sales assistant has given me the wrong shade and I almost resembled someone that has had one too many spray tans.............................................Remember that episode of Friends with Ross and the tanning booth.......................Well.......................That.

7. In my anger at the previous point grabbed what I thought was the toothpaste (which I must add had been left next to the toothbrushes) and squeezed a hefty helping onto my toothbrush only to find out one I had shoved it in my mouth that it was in fact bloody hand cream ............................................................................................................BLURGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!.

What a bloody morning, what a waste of good make up and what the hell has happened today.........................Are the Gods above playing a game with me today or is it just because I had such a nice weekend that someone thought it might be fun to heap a ton of bad luck on me.

Either way I am not going to let it get me down......................I have sniffed the bottle of Gin and taken a few deep breaths...........................Oh Hang on.......................All I can taste is that bloody Lemon Meringue Pie oil in my throat..........Hopefully the hand cream will counteract it.

Lots of Love
Me
xxxxxxxx


21 comments:

  1. oh nooo what a morning you have had!! Have a good old cuppa and everything will be fine :) x

    ReplyDelete
  2. And I thought it was only me that did these sorts of things...

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a day you've had, but you did make me chuckle, the way you describe it all! I hope something nice happens next!

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG that is a morning of epic hell! at least the kitchen smells of lemons, it could be worse! I would love to live near a graveyard, but then I am odd!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ooh your candles sound lovely - I wouldn't mind my kitchen smelling of lemon ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. This made me chuckle but I was really excited about the house backing onto the graveyard. Seriously I would love that! At least it's highly unlikely to be redeveloped into houses and you have a pretty view - I do think graveyards are lovely, full of wildlife and peaceful havens. Only the living can hurt you ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. What a morning! My daughter's desperate to learn to drive too, as soon as she turns 17 this summer - but I can't believe she's grown up enough to do that at all.

    ReplyDelete
  8. First World Problems !!! It will all be fine X
    You do make laugh you nutter !

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh my word thats pants get yourself a cup of tea and nice piece of cake.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh dear! Teenagers are so lovey!! I have one that can be truly awful at times! I'm on your daughters side though about the graveyard - I would be scared of zombies lol ;)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh my goodness, what a day!! I hope it got better??! I bet the hand cream tasted disgusting!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I think your kitchen sounds as though it smells amazing with all that lmeon x

    ReplyDelete
  13. Aargh, no! What a difficult day. Still, baby pink's a good look on a man, I reckon....good luck with the house hunt!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh no what a morning for you - I was the worlds worst teen I feel so bad looking back. x

    ReplyDelete
  15. OOOH I order cake and gin and tea and more cake and cake

    ReplyDelete
  16. oh i love you Sam! i so can't wait to catch up with you in less than a month .. although will i smell the lemon before i see you or is the lemon stink now fading?

    ReplyDelete
  17. I don't think the graveyard would bother me but my girls would probably be the same as yours and not want to live there! Hope your day got better :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. oooops...
    but look at the bright side.. after summer months and some natural sun baths your new foundation will be perfect... I think your sales lady could predict the future :-)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thankyou for all of you encouraging comments, the day did get better thankfully.....Mainly due to a large glass of wine xxx

    ReplyDelete
  20. What a morning - I'd blame the golden eagle if I were you! I need a cup of tea just reading this!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wow what a morning - I think I would have been reaching for the gin too! Hand cream on your toothbrush sounds revolting. Good luck with rescuing Mr DG's shirts and finding a house!

    ReplyDelete

Love to hear your comments, and I will always try to reply xxx