Wednesday, 25 March 2015

2 Kool 4 Skool

I see different parents every day on social media that look so cool and think "why can't I be like that"..........I shall tell you why...................Because I am the Mother of two bloody Teenagers and there is no place on Earth that I will ever look or be cool in their eyes...........EVER.

Trust me when I say I have tried to impress them with my coolness and hilarity.......................It doesn't work, no matter what you do or say.

My advice is as follows..........

1. DO NOT attempt to speak to them when they have friends round (especially boys), the last time the Male Teen had his mates round I decided to pop upstairs and have a chat. "Hi Guys, whats going on"...............This was met with 3 hooded heads suddenly dropping to the floor and a variety of grunts emerged from their very red faces. "Nothing Mum.........Just nothing.......Can you shut the door please".................Oh well I thought, at least he said please.

2. DO NOT ever suggest that maybe you could get a similar top to the Female Teen. This will be greeted with a look of sheer horror................"But I just thought we would look cute in the same top"................................"CUTE MUM.......REALLY.........CUTE........WHO EVEN SAYS THAT"...................Bad idea then.

3. DO NOT try and photo bomb them when they are on Snap Chat...............I almost ended up with the new IPhone implanted up my arse when "I" thought it would be hilarious to pop up behind her mid Snap Chat.....................

4. "Lets do a video of us singing Frozen in the car"...............................No words were returned as she just got out of the car and walked home.

5. "Shall I come in to the party to get you"?........................................Now this is actually a top tip of mine if you want to get your Teen to come out on time. Trust me, even a small hint that you might join the party and start joining in will force them to be waiting outside as you pull up.

6. DO NOT attempt to "Rap".......................Iggy Azalea has got nothing on me .............Unfortunately both Teens were in the car as I claimed to know all the words. I didn't even realise that two 5ft something humans could fit in the foot wells of my car.

7. Apparently according to both Teens I talk very loudly when I think I am whispering so DO NOT try and be funny about teachers at parents evening.....................................I don't really know what the problem was.............................All I said was how sad I was that he wasn't doing PE.............You get the drift.

8. DO NOT dance...................EVER............Even though I went to dance school with Steadman from 5 Star (well, I didn't actually go to school with him but he was in the next dance class to me) this means nothing to Teenagers as I bust my moves. I am even too embarrassing to be filmed, posted on YouTube and mocked apparently.

9. Never shout things out of the car at them...............Like..........."LOVE YOU" or "MAKE GOOD CHOICES TODAY HUNNY"...................And my personal favourite "SEE YOU LATER MY
LITTLE PRINCE".

10. If a someone from the opposite sex breaks your Teens heart DO NOT drive slowly past him/her and his new squeeze with the window down giving him/her the "I'm watching you" look..........Especially do not do this if your heart broken teen is in the car with you..................

All of the above are vital for survival yours and theirs and once though the other side which I am pleased to say is almost upon me with the Female Teen things will look much better.

Face facts that you will never be totally cool in their eyes and that's fine, in fact it is more than fine.......................Its so much more fun to have a few things up your sleeve that might make them cringe.

Good Luck Out There xxxx








I am linking up with the fabulous Super Busy Mum and The Big Fat Linky of The Week with The Dad Network. Hop on over there and link up your posts.


The Dad Network                                                           Super Busy Mum




49 comments:

  1. This is hilarious, I'm loving that she got out of the car and walked rather than sing Frozen

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    1. I know...........I have no clue why.......Just rude. To be honest I am shocking at singing but just love it xx

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  2. "make good choices today' *dying with laughter*

    This is HILARIOUS. Until it happens to me!

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    1. Ha ha , thanks Liz. Think its one of my favourite things to say............Must photograph their faces next time xx

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  3. this made me giggle I must admit ahhh the teenage years lol No doubt when my 2 are teenagers I will embarass them somehow hhaha

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    1. Thanks for reading Angela, I would print this off now and pin it on your fridge xxx

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  4. Had to giggle at these. Not looking forward to the teenage years.

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    1. Thankyou Erica, I am sure you will be just fine and if not.........Pop back here for some more tips xxx

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  5. Thanks for the tips!! I shall remember these for when mine turn teens! At the moment I (hope!) I don't embarrass them too much but know the time will come!

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    1. Those golden years when they are little are fabulous....You can do anything and they will always think you are cool xxx

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  6. Ha ha this really made me laugh....and fear those teenage years in equal measure!! Brilliant post!

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    1. Thank you my lovely, Don't fear them............Just be prepared xxxxxx

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  7. I just love this! I have a teenage daughter and can totally relate to all of the above!! Love to sing Frozen songs in the car just to annoy her haha! xx

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    1. Me too, its one of my favourite songs ever.......I think I only do it to annoy her but I can't seem to help myself xx

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  8. This is fantastic! I know my other half will be the most embarrassing dad ever when our boy is bigger! xx

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    1. Thanks so much Michelle, my hubby is even worse than me.............xx

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  9. Great tips, I have tweens and they are starting to get embarrassed. I am sure it is only goi9ng to get worse and I am going to be THAT mother!

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    1. Thanks Jen, I think when they are older they will look back and hopefully think what a funny mum i was.....Fingers crossed xx

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  10. hahaha! I have taken notes....I have a tween which is starting to act like a teen!

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    1. Pin them to your fridge Kim.........Thanks so much for reading xx

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  11. Number 5 was my favourite and made me laugh the most:) I do love following your blog so I know what teendom wonders await :)

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    1. Aww bless you Steph, hope to bring a smile to your face if I can. xxx

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  12. Haha I remember my parents being the most embarrassing people ever when I was a teen. Actually they still can be. x

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    1. Mu mum was shockingly embarrassing, i think thats exactly why i am too xx

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  13. haha I have a while until W is a teen but I'm sure I will not be cool in his eyes! x

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    1. I am afraid none of us ever are cool.....I can only hope that they will see the funny side when they are older xx

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  14. This is Hilarious! Especially the photo bomb on snap chat lol! I must remember these for when F is bigger. x

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    1. Thankyou Lori, the look on their faces is priceless after the realise you are in the back xx

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  15. haha made me giggle at the fact i do all of these orr near there , i dont care thgouh we dont have to grow up lol x

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    1. Thankyou Lisa, i agree with you....I might be 44 but in my head i am still 21 xx

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  16. Ha I did cackle at a few of these and then reminded myself that I do them too x

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    1. Thanks so much for reading, one day they will look back and laugh.....Hopefully xx

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  17. *snort* ... I totally love you Sam .. and I think i need to do all of the above! lol

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    1. Bless you Jaime, can't wait to catch up soon....Maybe we can be embarrassing together xxx

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  18. Mine are teens yet but I'm actually looking forward to being the embarrassing mum that they are like OMG no at. It's my duty as a mother to make then red face and wanting the world to swallow them whole. It will make up for all the tantrums, kick off and sheering horror moments they have put me through in their younger years :) revenge will be mine!

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    1. Thats my point exactly Nicola......Its pay back time for sure. What about all those embarrassing moments where you felt like disappearing into a hole xx

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  19. hilarious ps adds to list .. no saying to teenager no setting they will just tut at you

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    1. I just love that tutting and eye roll thing they do........It always makes me laugh how they try and do it silently x

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  20. Haa haa, know all of these although I do have one thing that my teens find cool and gloat about - my social media followers #pmsl

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    1. Oh my yes......I forgot that one. Especially when you comment on one of their posts or even worse follow their friends xx

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  21. Haha, hilarious! I'm going to stop my child aging before he becomes a teen...or a tween....or a threenager!
    #bigfatlinky

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    1. Now if only we could actually do that, I miss my babies so much. xxx

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  22. Not just teens, even my 4 year old thinks I look silly when I dance :-D

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  23. aww I love parenting the teen almost more than when she was a baby. I love it but yes I get put in my place to!

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  24. Ha ha omg you are hilarious!! So funny; I love it. I have a tween so we're working our way towards all of these... x

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  25. Hilarious reading! I can't wait to embarrass my kids when they hit teen years. haha

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  26. I relate to everything you wrote and I'm giggling my arse off because I'm in your shoes. 40 something 2 adult kids one teenager and 2 kids that still have to go through that phase. I might as well lock myself under the stairs now and save them from any embarrassment.

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  27. Laughed out loud at number 3! Looking forward to all this with Ted in years to come. Thanks for sharing and for linking up #bigfatlinky

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  28. LMSO... Although my favourite phrase as i drop them and their 2 mates off at school when they are late is "Have a gay day!" Funnily enough they don't have a lift very often! Its always greeted with the "Mum, who venue says that these days?" line tho!

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