Tuesday, 3 September 2013

My Date With Jez.

Last week my Domestic Goddess Status for the day was "As long as a day goes by with no one I know appearing on The Jeremy Kyle Show, I can say that my life is blessed"..............................After being laid up for a whole week with some type of buggy thing I had no choice but to watch daytime TV. I knew things had gone to far when I suddenly realised I was watching the above mentioned show and more to the point quite enjoying it. Jeremy or Jez as they all seemed to call him was nice but firm and did on one show say "Its my name on the wall so shut up" 3 times which got on my nerves a bit but on the whole I didn't totally dislike the guy.

I sat with an open mouth as one guest told her husband of 12 years that she had been sleeping with his brother which then resulted in the 2 hefty looking bouncers intervening as they tried to smash each other in the face. It was then revealed that the husbands sister had also been with him as well as the Husbands Sisters Best friend.......................Are you following................................The picture of this guy I had in my head was one of some good looking bloke who had 3 women on the go at once...................WRONG!!!.........................................As Jez welcome Kevin onto the stage we were greeted by a 5ft skinny, scruffy, dirty looking fella with 1 tooth in his mouth. Even Jeremy looked gobsmacked as he swaggered across the stage while all around him women threw accusations at each other claiming that "He's mine" and "He's going home with me love" rang out. The funniest thing was the audiences faces, they looked horrified and slightly bemused by the spectacle in front of them.

Then Jez said what we were all thinking "Ok, Mr Hotshot..........What have you got that half the male population haven't"..................I literally spat my tea out and howled with laughter.

I was staggered why these people would go on national television and air there dirty laundry (literally) and why knowing that they were going on national television did they decide to wear a tracksuit and not wash their hair. Maureen (The Wife) summed it up in one sentence...."You only came on here to get the free hotel and meal out".......................................I think I would rather forfeit the meal and hotel and keep my own private life exactly where it belongs......In Private.

P.s If you ever need a side kick Jez.....I'm your woman.................

10 comments:

  1. Hilarious as always! I had a discussion with the OH's Nan yesterday about 'our Jez' (at 94, she's his number 1 fan!)and how on earth the public can 'air their dirty laundry' in front of so many people! All the old people's homes have it on apparently, he has a huge following! Hope you're feeling better now x

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    1. I can't believe it Suzanne. I bet they all shout at the TV xxxx

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  2. Jeremy Kyle is my guilty pleasure....I watch it most mornings with a cuppa....lol
    Hope you're feeling better now x

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    1. Thanks Hun, getting there slowly I think xxxx

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  3. I always vow I hate the Jeremy Kyle Show but I too find myself sucked in when it's on. I find it fascinating on so many levels which I don't think I want to analyse too much ;) Great post, glad you're getting better xx

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    1. Yes me too. Thanks for reading my lovely xxx

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  4. I must admit I too have found it compelling on the rare occasions I've watched. It's like a world we know nothing about. As you say, who would discuss that on telly and then who would go on telly without having a wash and putting on some clean clothes?!
    I hope you're feeling better now. x

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    1. Absolutely, it just baffles me. Thanks my lovely friend feeling like I've turned a corner now. xxx

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  5. I have never watched it, I cant watch anything with the 'public' on I get so embarrassed. or anything with a celebrity panel. I know, I'm odd. Haha . But I like your version, I could read it not watch it.

    Nortonmum

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    1. I must admit to watching some of it behind a cushion xx

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Love to hear your comments, and I will always try to reply xxx