For the past 9 nights something has happened to me, something I cannot explain or figure out. Usually my favourite time of the day is around 11pm, PJ's.....Teeth.....Wee.......Check kids then................BED. Usually I snuggle down making sure one leg is out of the covers and my bum is tucked in (just in case any creepy crawlies decided to venture near my nether regions.......I understand this is a bit weird but its something that has worried me since I have been 7). Once all of my crazy rituals are completed I USUALLY nod off quite happily.
This is what used to happen 9 days ago .........Not anymore.......Nothing.......No nodding off into a gentle dream like state....No yawning and no funny noises (You know the ones I mean, the little noises that escape your throat as your just nodding off, the ones that can sound a bit like a goose).
I now have a new set of rituals.......PJ's, teeth, wee, check kids.....BED, snuggle down, tuck bum in then.........Stare at the clock, listen with complete hatred as The Husband snores, stare a bit more at the clock and finally get up out of my lovely bed and begin the evenings entertainment of ....well....Not sleeping.
So here I am, its now 2.45am in the morning and after 2 hours of being wide...and I mean wide awake I have decided to write this blog in the small hope that it might tire my brain out. I have had 2 chamomile teas, watched 2 re-runs of Minder and The Professionals (God that Lewis Collins was a bit of all right wasn't he) and then decided to Google Insomnia. There are many strange remedies which included having sex and going for a run, neither of which I really fancy doing right now due to the fact that its cold and dark outside and if I wake The Husband up for sex he will never help me cure my sleep disorder and will instead welcome the fact that he gets to have his wicked way most evenings (plus, its not his birthday until September).
The house is remarkably quiet and I am sure that many of you out there will now be thinking that it actually seems like a great idea to stay awake and have a bit of alone time. My only company is the dog who keeps looking at me with a slightly confused expression on his face whilst wagging his tail every time I glance back at him. I have noticed how bloody noisy the fridge is and how my love of clocks is actually quite annoying due to them all ticking at different times. The ticking seems louder than ever and I have seriously thought about going round and taking all the batteries out of them to stop them reminding me that I am still bloody awake.
I have considered going for a walk but changed my mind when I admitted to myself that I would be scared. I wonder if there is a place all insomniacs go at this time of night, you know, like a hang out. I imagine it like a midnight Youth Club for grown ups, TV, tuck shop, pool table and smoking out the back (not that I smoke). Is there someone there serving Horlicks or Chamomile tea whilst giving you advice on how to go back to sleep. Does everyone have to stand up and say "Hello, my name is Keith and I am an a Insomniac", do all the other people nod and clap at his admission............NO....NO....NO.....Of course they don't.....Of course there no bloody club......You see this is my problem.....I cannot switch my brain off from random thoughts.
Sometimes I wish I could take my brain out, put it in a jar and not think. If my ideas and thoughts could be turned into a book/film I would be a millionaire.
Oooooooooooo....I've just yawned.....What does that mean......Stop thinking about what it means and go with it I tell myself. Maybe blogging is the way forward.....Maybe I will change my name to...The Midnight Blogger.......Maybe I will start my own Insomniac Blogging Club..........You see, there I go again, more stupid thoughts clogging my head.
This is where I need your help. any suggestions, ideas, thoughts would be greatly appreciated please. I am willing to give anything a go as long as it doesn't involve sleeping tablets (tried that once before and ended up asleep on the bathroom floor).
Hope you are all sleeping well, I'm off for another cup of tea and then I will attempt to get a couple of hours shut eye.
P.S I am seriously considering that club you know.