Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Bikes, Boats and Boobs

I am back from 4 of the most wonderful days. Myself, The Hubby, The Whirlwind and The Teenager headed off for a fun filled adventure to Centre Parcs in the middle of Longleat Forest.
It would take me ages to blog about everything so here is a slightly edited version of our time away....

Thursday Day Time.................Kids at school, Hubby at work, Me...........Clean house, do all washing and ironing, charge up various electrical forms of communication, shop for food and drinks to take with us, pack clothes for summer and winter for all of us, pack shoes for all weather, take a medicine bag with everything from plasters to Rescue Remedy in and finally sort the dog out.
Please note:- The reason I pack for everyone is that last year when I let them pack their own bags we ended up with no trousers for The Whirlwind , no underwear for The Teenager and no shoes for The Husband.

Friday morning ....Time to leave the house (45 minutes late due to The Hubby deciding to go and get his hair cut at the last minute)............Yippee we are on the road.........Nope, we are going back as The Teenager has left her bag with all her art homework in.............

We are really off this time........ Journey going well until we get stuck behind a caravan for 2 1/2 hours, with no chance of overtaking we just look at the back of it. As we fly past Stonehenge and finally overtake them, the old man gives us a 2 finger sign and calls us a very rude word. (OAP rage or what).

We reach our destination........ Kids are both asleep and wake up with the hump and stiff necks, Hubby needs a wee so badly that he cant walk properly and I am in need of a Gin & Tonic and its only 2pm.
Friday Afternoon....Check into our cabin. All lovely, kids happy, Hubby happy, Mummy very happy.

Off we go to pick up our bikes.....(This is something that I was dreading due to the fact that the last time I rode a bike it hurt in all the wrong places and gave me a nasty case of chaffing.) 4 bikes all ready and waiting for us. Kids jump on excitedly, Hubby has managed to have a wee by now so he mounts his and cycles off to find the kids. This just leaves little old me........Walk my bike outside and find a secluded spot, get on the bike with all the grace of a rhino and have a little practice ride around the pick up area. Find that I am quite surprised that not only did my nunny not hurt but I actually really loved it.....Whizz past the kids and Hubby with my legs outstretched shouting "YIPPEEEEEEE" !!! (Receive a round of applause from a group of women on a hen party).

Saturday....... Everyone slept like logs and we eagerly get on our bikes to head on down to the lake where we were to board a pedalo.
It is at this stage I must explain something to anyone who doesn't know me and the Hubby. I am terrified of boats, water and fish, The Hubby is not terrified of anything but is 6ft 2ins and built like a shed. The kids begged me to go aboard so I had to leave my fears on the beach and grow a pair.
The pedalo itself was very sturdy, so myself and The Teenager sat at the front whilst the boys peddled at the back. The trouble was that there was no room for anyone over the height of 5ft to pedal so my poor husband was in agony the whole time.

The Teenager then swapped places with The Whirlwind and I screamed as the boat rocked back and forth threatening to capsize me and revealing the hundreds of fish underneath me. They then thought it would be funny to drive it into a set of bushes whilst I was looking through my bag for travel sickness tablets thus ending up with more screaming and twigs, leaves and foliage getting stuck in my hair as well as one very cross moorhen who then chased us away.
Sunday.....Another good night sleep was had by all. Today we had promised the kids a day at the water park. With swimming bags all packed we again took to our bikes ( I, by this stage thought I was Lance Armstrong and had even ventured into 5th gear).
The Lagoon/rapids/swimming pool was a short journey away, myself and The Teenager arranged to meet the boys by the waters edge.
As I appeared round the corner the Husband looked at me very strangely (not the reaction I was looking for as I was wearing my new swimsuit). "Have you got full make up on?" he enquired. "Yes, I have" was my reply. "What about when you get your face wet" he said........."Don't worry, I have no intention of getting my face or hair wet" I said.
Well that was the understatement let me tell you. As I flew down the first rapid holding my nose and straining my neck to stay above water it all went horribly wrong. The only way I can describe how I felt was a bit like being put in a washing machine and then spun. As I came up for air choking and spluttering the kids and hubby watched on with hands clamped over their mouths...."Has my make up run" was the first thing out of my mouth. "Errrrrrrrrr......Just a bit" replied the kids.
I managed to catch sight of myself just before I was thrown down the next slide, if Alice Cooper went swimming then this is what it would look like.
As if this wasn't bad enough, my left boob popped out of my costume just in time for the same hen party who cheered me earlier to see. Another round of applause. GREAT !!!!


Monday....Last day, so we decided to take the kids to Longleat Safari. A fantastic day was had by all, although we lost a few bits of the car due to the monkey enclosure. Hubby NOT HAPPY !!!!!

Kids had a great time and we all said that we would definitely go back next year. Said our goodbyes to all the animals and headed home.
Monday night.........Basically repeated the packing process but in reverse, said hello to a very excited dog and collapsed into a heap.

So there we go, my holiday in a nutshell. We had such a great time that we have already booked up to go back next year to do it all again...........This time I will be taking waterproof mascara and a swimming hat.

Apologies for it being such a long one.

Lots of love
Me xxxx

27 comments:

  1. Awwww (its me the anonymous Bond) I loved this one as I can imagine it all happening having been there too. Its such a fab place...great for making memories. I can't wait to go with my lovelies in October :-) Missed you tho xxx

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    1. Thanks for reading my lovely. Think you guys should defo do pedalos. I cant wait to go back xxx

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  2. I love CP and this post makes me want to go back....your routine before going on holiday sounded very familiar !

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    1. Us too, we cant wait to go back next year. Thanks for reading hunny xx

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  3. Sounds like you had a great time x

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    1. We did indeed, thanks for reading xxxxx

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  4. I love you! You make me laugh so much and that sounded like a very entertaining few days! Glad you had a nice time and you're blogging mojo has definitely returned, yay!

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    1. Awwww your so sweet. Loved writing it and could of gone on for ages but you can't can you. Thanks so much for reading. Lots of love xxxxxx

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  5. LOL all the way through this post but especially your swimming faux pas!

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  6. I love love love Centerparcs, but hubs doesn't. Glad you had a good time though.

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  7. Love this post! Very informative and very funny, sounds like you all had fabulous time. I take it that it wasn't you who drove down to Centre parcs?
    Sounds like my sort of holiday, active and funny x x

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    1. Thanks for reading darlin. No it was not me that drove down there, you must be joking. We did have a fab time. Just cant wait to go back next year. xxxx

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  8. I haven't rode a bike for a very long time! I'm not sure when i can ride one but reading your story makes me want to ride a bike again. Great to hear that you had a great time amidst all the issues you've encountered :)

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  9. Sounds like a really fun time with plenty of action! Always a good sign when you are ready to book again for the next year. xx

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    1. it was great fun, we cant wait to go back xx

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  10. He he he, hysterical fun as always! Your family holidays sound so awesome, I would love to be a fly on the wall :) Loving the 'boob' moment! Thanks for sharing x x

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    1. Thanks Suzanne, I often think we could be on a reality show of our own xxx

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  11. This is fab, sorry i dont mean the chaffing bit! lol

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  12. That's so funny! Think we have all had a boob moment some time or other ..... haven't we?! Popping over from #oldiesbutgoodies x

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    1. I think there seem to be quite a few of us xxxx

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  13. I LOVE Center Parcs Longleat - we've been lots of times before. Can totally relate to being so desperate for the toilet you can hardly walk when you get out of the car. Will never understand why they don't have toilets in the car park! The boob moment gave me a laugh!

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    1. Same here Sarah, its the first thing you need isn't it xx

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  14. Great post, sounds as chaotic as our family holidays! ;) x

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Love to hear your comments, and I will always try to reply xxx