Sunday 15 April 2012

The Battle Of My Bulge.




Tomorrow begins with many things,peace reigns again, the kids go back to school, my house will stay tidy for 6 solid hours,I can have an adult conversation without anyone asking where their phone is or can I have a tenner, I can have a rest from nagging and my weight loss programme begins (AGAIN).





As I approach the ripe old age of 41 it has become apparent to me that shifting weight is so much harder than ever. People keep telling me its my metabolism , my age and the run up to the Menopause but I'm not convinced. I think its something far more simpler ..........I think its something closer to home.........I think.its my stomach, plain and simple. I blame it entirely for always being hungry for always telling my brain that another slice of cake will be OK. I don't lay any blame on my brain as I have very good self control when dealing with other things in life, like keeping my mouth shut in situations where some people would loose it entirely. I have great control when I have to say "no" to things I don't want to do and am brilliant at saying "yes" to that last Gin & Tonic, but when it comes to food I have no self discipline or control.

My Husband once gave me a very valuable piece of advice that I have never forgotten. One Sunday whilst sitting at the dining table with all the family the subject of being overweight came up and how hard it is to loose it. The Husband looked at me from across the other side of the table and said without batting an eyelid "You know why your fat don't you ?????" , as the rest of the women at the table held their breath ready for me to leap up and throttle him with his napkin he carried on "Its because I give you such a big portion at dinner time".

You could of heard a pin drop as he carried on eating his plate of piled high roast beef and Yorkshire puddings "WHAT!!!" he said as we all sat motionless. Then all heads turned to look at me as I placed my knife and fork down to reply...."Darling" I began" I hate to say this but you haven't given me a big portion since the day we met never mind dinner time". The snigger's began and my mother lost it completely and snorted wine out of her nose, the Husband even managed a giggle and then continued to dig himself out of the biggest hole ever. He made amends by telling me he loved me whatever size I was. (I pretended to forgive him as his Mother was there but oh boy did he get it later.

Anyway my point being that maybe he had hit the nail on the head, maybe my plate was the equivalent to his. I am 5ft 6in and he is 6ft 5in and looks a bit like our shed minus the hanging basket so why was I having the same size dinner to him. From that day on I tried to halve what he had and that seemed to work until I then found myself hoovering up the kids leftovers thus defeating the object.

I am not embarrassed to say that I am a size 16-18 but would love love love to be a size 12-14, I want that feeling of being able to go into a shop and just pick up something from the front of the rack instead of the back. I want to look good in a smock top instead of looking slightly pregnant. I don't want to be skinny (that's a total lie, I would love to be skinny) I would be happy just feeling slimmer. I totally admire the women out there who are completely happy with their weight whether large or small. I wish I could be the same but ...........I'm going to Lady Gaga in August with The Teenager and I want to wear that meat dress. No no just kidding, I just want to feel less bloated and have more energy.

So for a while I will be using my much loved and cherished blog as a weapon of mass destruction against my fat.
I have trawled the magazines and picked out a few celebrity diets, so as from tomorrow I will be testing them and then blogging about the results or the downfalls. The first one is the Grapefruit Diet and that involves drinking a glass of grapefruit juice before every meal, the result is supposed to be that you are less hungry and this then results in weight loss (YEAH RIGHT).

So here we go, I am going to do this and you will all be coming along for the ride with me, this in itself gives me so much encouragement . Knowing that my friends and lovely new Blogging friends are here will hopefully make me stop and think before shoving that cake/biscuit in my gob.

I just have one final thing to say to someone who is in for a bit of a shock "Dear Stomach, you are no longer in control of me, I am in charge from now on and you will have to get used to being smaller and not as full."

As if by some protest my stomach has just growled and rumbled at me. Ha Ha!  I say, Bring It On Big Guy!!!

Lots of Love
Me xxxxxx

26 comments:

  1. I think this is my fav one. . can relate to it soooo well ... the portion size, stomach in control and also having a fliptop head as my food doesn't touch the sides! But can you honestly chew the same mouthful 20times? I'm not a cow![Which I may have to reuse in ablog ;-).]Well done chick and good luck on your journey which you don not to do btw . . if you're fit and healthy and can shop for clothes other than Millets [also may put in blog] then you don't need to change. . remmeber the average size of the UK woman is a 16. The average size of a celeb is oops don't know she fell down the crack in the pavement. .xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks hun, a sort of off the cuff blog this morning. Quite looking forward to trying these diets then blogging about them.
      Thanks again
      xxx

      Delete
  2. Anonymous Bondy here...."Dear Stomach, you are no longer in control of me, I am in charge from now on and you will have to get used to being smaller and not as full." Haha I love this and will be telling my stomach this regularly too. Unfortunately mine is somewhat of a teenager and kinda makes me rebel without me realising until its too late. Great theory tho hun and great blog too xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou so much hunny, I have offically staged a war against the fat and I will win.
      Right off to eat that cream cake now............JOKE !!!!

      Lots of love
      Me xxx

      Delete
  3. Incredibly funny blog until I realised my husband too has been suggesting to me of late that my portion sizes do not need to be as big as his (past my prime now). What I have done to combat this is make a home-made vegetable soup which lasts 2 days (huge pot), just veg and stock and this is all I eat all day (breakfast & lunch - no carbs). I can then pig out at dinner and not put on weight. Much better than any plan, as I love vegetables. I'm eating what I want and slowly shrinking again. I do love food and wine and the odd g & t and if it came to the crunch, I'd pick life over starvation! Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fantastic idea. Good for you, i just hope I can shrink too. And the idea of being able to eat what I like at supper time is brilliant.
      Thanks for you support as always.
      Lots of love
      Me xxx

      Delete
  4. Common sense, eat less, exercise more, enjoy clothes, be healthy, love life x.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou Lesley, i intend to do all of the above.
      Lots of love xx

      Delete
  5. My diet works and its quite simple 3 x meals a day and snack on fruit and exercise. I too need to refocus and niw have conquered buddy's sleep and ready for round 2 Good luck! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks darlin, nice to see we are all in this together.
      Lots of Love
      Me xxx

      Delete
  6. Haha this made me chuckle..I could imagine the diner scene so well, a beautiful piece of writing. My sister (39} has managed to lose 6.4st in about 14mths with weight watchers I think...anyway the hard work was certainly worth it. Good luck with everything x

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thankyou so much for you lovely comment. Well done to your sister. Am actually quite excited to give these diets a go now.

    Thanks again
    Lots of love
    xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  8. Fab. Made me chuckle lots, especially the 'big portion' (or lack thereof). Good look with the programme. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes indeed........ Thankyou for reading,
      Lots of love xx

      Delete
  9. Brilliant post as always and I have similar issues and I am 41 too so maybe it is an age thing! I have the 9 o'clock munches so I am trying not to eat after 630 at the moment. But sadly that means cramming more in before 630 so I don't get hungry! I shall watch your results with great interest!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou for reading. I would be the same and would be shoving food in my mouth until the cut off time. Will keep you posted.
      Thanks again
      Lots of love
      Xxx

      Delete
  10. Oh I can relate to this. I need to lose weight, am 41, but I cant' stop eating, and picking at Little A's left overs. And its so hard to exercise, well find the time to anyway, these days. To make matters worse, I read recently that women over 40 start requiring a greater calorie intake, why?, and so start eating more. Think its to do with the run up to the menopause. See you at the bottom of the hill!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh god thats all I need, my tummy is protesting badly today. Its just so hard isnt it. If I cant loose a bit of weight by August then thats it, I will maintain what I have and just keep healthy.

      Thanks for reading and yes indeed see you at the bottom xxxx

      Delete
  11. Very funny post!! Good luck in the battle!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'm completely guilty of eating the same portion sizes as my husband. Not ideal when I'm a foot smaller and half the size of him. Doesn't take much guessing as to how I've put on two stone since we've been together. Really need to work on my pig-like tendancies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel your pain. It's very hard not to have the same as everyone else.
      Thankyou for reading
      Xxxxxxx

      Delete
  13. Hey, good luck with it.

    Perhaps your OH can reduce his meal portion too in support - then you won't feel you're missing out?

    Funny post though & nice come back I might add...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou Dan. Trouble is he is 6ft odd and enormous so a little plate for him would be insufficient to him. Never mind ,maybe I should just wear blinkers instead.
      Thanks for reading
      Xx

      Delete
  14. Maaaan he's lucky he's still breathing!!! I found a blog today called The 1970's Diet... have you heard of it? Quite an interesting theory really.

    I'm always trying to lose weight... I'm a size 14 but was a 10 when I moved here 2 years ago... My boobs are to blame they are huge and horrible. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes indeed he is a lucky man. I have read of the blog and it is brilliant.
      My boobs are exactly the same, I have actually weighed them and they weigh a whopping 7lbs.

      Thanks for reading. xxx

      Delete

Love to hear your comments, and I will always try to reply xxx