Tuesday 15 July 2014

The Return of The Smelly One.

When I wrote to you all last The Male Teen aka Sparky had just left on his Wales Adventure trip with the school for a week..............See here.

I thought it was therefore only fair to update on his return............................................................

The clocked ticked past second by second and I had butterflies in my tummy at seeing my little smelly one. Then after no contact for a whole week I received a text.................................
"We r almost home" it said
"Where are you" I replied
Nothing......................................Then........................."On the coach".
"I know your on the coach but where are you" I questioned again.
Nothing................................"On the motorway" was the reply I got.

I gave up after that and resorted to social networking to give me my answer from the Mums who had girls who were far more forthcoming.

As we stood in the car park I listened to a range of comments such as..................................

"God, my house has stayed so tidy"
"I wonder if Xbox will go bust now due to the lack of usage"
"Its been so quiet without them"

Then a comment that had everyone in agreement....."I cant imagine what their cases are going to smell like". This statement made me smile.

Being the self proclaimed Domestic Goddess I like to think I am I had already made sure there was not a scrap of washing anywhere and that the washing machine was ready to go with powder in the drawer. I had even placed a plastic sheet on the kitchen floor to unpack everything. A sheep dip had been erected by the front door and Environmental Health were having a cuppa whilst waiting...................................OK.....................OK.......................That last bit wasn't true but the thought was there and if I'd had their numbers it would of been.

Once the coaches had unloaded we headed off in the car for home..............................................That was when the smell hit me..........................................My tummy lurched............................I tried to smile at the joy of having him back..............................................Nope.........................I was going to have to hang my head out of the window like the dog.

The case was placed and I braced myself for what horror lurked inside....................................HOLY CRAP....................................Nothing could of prepared me for the smell that flew up my nose. It was a mixture of wet ponds, body odour, deodorant, grass, farm animals and dead things all rolled up into one.

Sparky stood over me laughing at my face as I shoved as much as I could into the machine (mistake number 1)...............The bag went outside to be incinerated on the BBQ and I rubbed Vic under my nose to hide the smell (I've seen this on CSI and trust me it does work).

Once we had caught up and listened to his tales of what a fabulous week he had had I noticed the smell was back again...................I reapplied the Vic........................I checked the machine..............................Where the hell was it coming from..................................It didn't take me long.

It was Sparky himself........................................."QUICK GET HIM IN THE SHEEP DIP" I shouted.

Even with all of my careful planning I was not ready for this at all, Mr DG smirked as I ran around with 2 bits of tissue shoved up my nose desperately trying to stop the Wales countryside squatting in my home. I knew things had gone too far when the first load of washing had to be washed again and Sparkys socks actually walked themselves to the machine.

Take note.................................No amount of preparation can be undertaken in these circumstances and the only solution would be to take the case straight up the tip...........................Mind you.......................To be fair..........................I think it might of caused an environmental disaster for mankind.

Thanks for reading
Lots of Love
Me
xxxxx


23 comments:

  1. hahaha! Eww!! So funny to read x

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  2. Ha ah this takes me back. I remember when this happened with my eldest. As soon as he got in the front door I made him strip off to his undies in the porch and ordered him in to the shower whilst I bunged all his clothes in the washing machine and threw his bag outside! It was 7 years ago but I can still remember his words " I think you're taking this a bit too far, mum!" Lol.

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  3. Hahah so thy had a really good time then? This has just given me visions of about 15 years time :)

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  4. Ha Ha this made me chuckle! We have all this to come. ;) x

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  5. hehe very funny! glad I have girls {so far;)}

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  6. Sounds like he had an amazing time - and obviously not used to being able to get that smelly.

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  7. Oh my gosh! That ha me laughing all the way through. You are one brave lady! x

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  8. Oh I can practically smell it! Yuck, I hope girls are cleaner than boys x

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  9. So funny! I'm quite glad that my teen is totally allergic to the outdoors and won't leave the house without a bottle of deodorant, hairspray and hand wash. My other son, not so much, he is going on his first camp on Friday. I have this to come...

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  10. Only to be expected sadly :( I shall continue smelling my sweet 9 year old for as long as possible. I guess it won't be long....! I shall be coming to you for the sheep dip ;) x x

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  11. I have all this to look forward to. I have girls and boys, and was wincing at your memory of the texts from your son, and of course the smells. Great post.

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  12. I can almost imagine the smell from your description and I think I would've burnt the lot. Eeww! Glad he is home safe and well though �� x

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  13. Oh I am, NOT looking forward to teenage boys smells!

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  14. lol - yup, the return from Silver D of E would have been the same but I sent a micro towel and there were SHOWERS!!! I had the ONLY sweet smelling teen when they returned!

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  15. Hahaha! I only have girls so maybe I'm safe?

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  16. Been here! I like your thorough preparation for the task ahead

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  17. I've been in boys' changing rooms in the past (I can't remember why actually) and the smell is HORRENDOUS so I can only imagine. YUK.
    I love your writing style.
    Liska x

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  18. Eww. Yes I know that smell, I'm so impressed with your preparations though. I feel like I need to prep the floor every time I sort through the washing basket anyway! When I unroll teens sock there is mud, bark, grass etc... all fall on to the floor!!! Glad he had a fun time x

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  19. Love the comment about Xbox. My Oh is still trying to convince me that all the consoles HAVE TO be used everyday in order to stay in a perfect working condition :-)

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  20. Oh no lol! I hope everything is a lot less stinky now! x

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  21. haa haaa haaaaa I feel your pain......its bad enough on a daily basis but mine is off to France soon

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  22. Thanks for all your lovely comments, my washing machine has recovered although I don't thin I have. He has resumed normal service and is looking forward to the summer holidays. He has asked if he could go Pony Trekking........................But that's a story I will save for another time xxxx

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  23. Oh my, this had me in stitches. It has been many a year since I had to deal with the dreaded 'whiff of teenage boy' but this post brought it all back. Absolutely loving the Vick idea - wish I'd though of that!

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Love to hear your comments, and I will always try to reply xxx