Wednesday 16 October 2013

Dear Santa

Dear Santa

I would imagine that you are quite surprised to hear from me being that I am 42 but I thought it might be worth a shot. After many many years of watching my kids have all the fun on Christmas morning I really feel that a little pressie from you to me is long overdue. I have read their demands to you year in year out and have to admit being a little shocked when The Whirlwind received a life sized Jedi Warrior after including it on his list.

Now, don't get me wrong I'm all for Xmas being about the kids but seriously....................A Jedi Warrior.........................He hadn't even been good that particular year. And when The Teenager demanded  enquired about your existence you managed to convince her by leaving snowy footprints all the way up the stairs..........................Thanks for that by the way..............Guess who had to clean that up ?????

Anyway, back to my reason for writing to you.

I have been good...............................................Ish................................All year i.e. I haven't needed bail money or a lawyer and lets face it as well you know I have definitely managed to bite my tongue many times this year. So Santa (can I call you that) with that in mind I am going to give you my list of wishes. If you can only manage 1 or 6 of them I would be extremely grateful and promise that I will never write to you again.

1. Hair free legs all year round..........................This is beneficial as I will no longer be spending Mr DG's money on waxing/shaving and snagged tights (win win).

2. A magic spell that makes The Tween Boys room smell more like freshly baked bread and coffee rather than a place that stinks like someone has sprayed a B.O flavoured air freshener in there.

3. A life sized figure of Hugh Jackman...............No wait......................A sculpture......................Oh heck........................What ever you can fit in your sack would be fine (if you are feeling really generous the real thing would be amazing).............................Although he will have to be visible only to me in case Mr DG gets a bit tetchy about him living with us.

4. A magic sound proof force field around the bathroom for when I am alone in there. No more kids/hubby barging in and deciding that it is appropriate to have a wee or chat to me about their days even though it is the first thing I ask the minute they come through the door.

5. A washing machine that not only cleans but dries, folds, irons and puts it all away whilst sorting out all the odd socks.

6. The ability to eat what I want without putting an ounce on.........................This one is very important, especially if I want Hugh Jackman to hang around.

There......................I think I'm done..........................Yep, I'm definitely finished. Ooooooooo...........................Wait!!!................................No, its OK....................................Being Queen is a bit much to ask for.

Thanks Santa and Merry Christmas.

Lots of Love
Me xxx

P.S You may find that this idea may catch on with other parents and for that I apologise.............................Although..................If you did make me Queen I could help you out with all the wishes............................Just a suggestion.............................Its up to you.......No pressure. xx

7 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha love it Mrs! I would definitely be asking for no 5 and no 1.....I do hope that all your wishes come true :) PS You should set this up as a linky nearer Christmas....or a Meme :)

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  2. Ha.. Love it! You might have to lower your expectations or I worry you might be disappointed on Xmas morning. The real life substitutes are probably a pack of razors, a can of air freshener, a kids figure of Wolverine, ear muffs and a diet book! Don't know what the solution to number 5 is apart from leaving it to pile up till someone else does it!

    I might write one of these myself... I have a feeling my wishlist might be a bit different to yours though. Agree with Suzanne above - you should run this again closer to xmas. See what lists you get back :-)

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  3. I love this list, I hope you get at least one on your list lol

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  4. Sound like reasons requests to me - will you share Hugh??

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  5. Love your posts so much and this one has had me giggling so much. Good call on the Hugh Jackman request!!!!!! #PoCoLo

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  6. This is brilliant - I think I may have to do a list too! Oh, and I'll fight you for Hugh Jackman ;) Thanks for linking to PoCoLo x

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  7. Have to make a list of my own. Might just steal most of yours though :)
    #PoCoLo

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Love to hear your comments, and I will always try to reply xxx